Ten questions people ask without thinking

1. Can you get me an original copy? Sure, go ahead - climb into the photocopier machine. 

2. Should there be any last-minute changes, will you let me know in advance? Of course, if time travel is possible, I will. 

3. Would you like to hear a funny joke? Is that the only option? 

4. Do you remember what happened when you fainted? My answer: I do. Umm, I don't. 

5. To play this party game could everyone make a round circle? Since when was there any other type? 

6. Are you sure it'll be good fun? Nothing's guaranteed, but bad fun isn't on the agenda? Tsk-tsk. 

7. Can we compromise on our different positions? I didn't realise we could compromise on the same position. 

8. We won't have this promotion next year, so why don't you consider this once-in-a-lifetime offer? Unfortunately, only cats have the proverbial nine lives. 

9. Could you text me your number? Erm, how about I text you my name instead? 

10. "Are you at home?" asks the caller on my home telephone. My answer is always the same: I am.