Is it ever okay to leave your pet behind when you move abroad? The hidden trauma of abandoned pets in the UAE

Dubai: In the UAE, where a large portion of the population is transient, it’s not uncommon for people to adopt pets during their stay. But when the time comes to relocate — back home or to a new country — far too many leave their pets behind. For the cats and dogs left in shelters, on the streets, or handed off to strangers, the trauma can be lifelong.

Gulf News spoke to two pet parents and a veterinary expert to understand the psychological toll abandonment takes on animals, and why taking your pet with you when you move isn’t just responsible — it’s essential.

Reema Cherian, an expat from Chennai, India, who has lived in the UAE for 20 years, knows firsthand the effort it takes to heal a broken animal.

Our rescued dogs had no names or tags — no one knew them. So, we decided to give them names inspired by famous figures. Our pug is Tom Cruise, the Saint Bernard is Jack Sparrow, the American Cocker Spaniel is Coco Chanel, and our Golden Retriever is the great Captain America — Steve Roger. Now, with their names, they are famous too.

I believe the illegal pet market is a big cause of animals being abandoned on the streets. There should be stricter regulations, and flight fares should be more affordable. Many pets are abandoned not because owners don’t want them, but because financial constraints force them to leave. If flights were cheaper, fewer animals would face this fate.

When Cherian brought home an abused rescue dog from Al Ain, she knew it wouldn’t be easy. What she didn’t expect was the emotional rollercoaster — and the incredible transformation that followed.

“He was trembling, barking uncontrollably, and urinating out of fear,” Reema recalls, describing the first days with Steve Roger, the Shih Tzu mix. “He was aggressive toward everyone except me. He had no sense of safety.”

Steve was found locked in a small birdcage in a car trunk, with bruised legs and a shattered spirit. For a long time, even the sight or sound of a garbage truck would send him into panic. “He’d shake uncontrollably. When outside, he’d flatten himself on the ground. In the car, he’d climb off the seat and hide.”

But Cherian and her family didn’t give up. Instead of strict training, they chose patience and empathy — offering emotional security and time.

“Dogs can sense energy. You can’t discipline a traumatized dog like a normal one — they’re not ready for that. You have to earn their trust first.”

They never forced Steve into routines or commands. Instead, they waited until he chose to engage. They created a calm home with lavender oil diffusers, chamomile tea in his water, and calming sprays — all recommended by their vet. His bedding was scented with essential oils, making a peaceful sanctuary.

“Even now, I apply lavender to his paws every day. It’s a ritual.”

Steve’s anxiety about abandonment lingers. “He won’t go to the spa without us. He’s terrified we’ll leave.” But despite the fear, he’s made incredible progress.

“He listens. He follows commands. He plays. It took time, but now he’s affectionate and confident with those he trusts.”

For Cherian, the most rewarding part isn’t just Steve’s change — it’s how she changed too.

“He came into our lives during COVID lockdown — just the two of us, no family visits or travel. But he gave us purpose.”

Her physical and emotional health improved. She began early morning walks, felt less stressed, and found joy in the smallest moments — like being greeted by a wagging tail.

“He made me better. He made us better. He taught us empathy, patience, and unconditional love. He didn’t just survive — he saved us.”

Cherian’s final message to pet owners, especially expats:
“If you’re not prepared for the trauma, healing, and full commitment, please don’t adopt. A traumatized pet can’t survive another heartbreak.”

For 25 years, Filipina expat Des Divierte has called Dubai home — quietly becoming a lifeline for animals others have abandoned.

It started in 2010 with a stray kitten given to her by a friend. Living alone in a rental that didn’t allow dogs, cats became her mission.

“That kitten opened my eyes. Then I rescued a heavily pregnant street cat. I stayed up all night learning how to help her give birth to five kittens. I spayed and neutered them all before finding them homes.”

That moment transformed her understanding of spaying and neutering — not just to control populations but to give animals peaceful, healthier lives.

Since then, Des has championed TNR (Trap-Neuter-Return), working with vets to sterilize stray cats and safely return them to their neighborhoods.

Her modest Dubai flat has become a rescue haven for dozens of cats — many abandoned, disabled, or sick.

“Some were left without food or water for days, sometimes locked in apartments. We’re stretched thin, but we can’t say no — no one else will.”

Des warns abandonment is illegal and surges when expats leave the UAE.

“It’s heartbreaking and preventable. If you loved them once, bring them with you. They didn’t ask to be adopted — you made that choice. Don’t betray them when they need you most.”

For pet parents who want to do the right thing but can’t afford professional relocators, Divierte and other volunteers offer DIY relocation support. She helps expats compile the necessary documents, coordinates with airlines, and even sets up crowdfunding if needed.

“Sending pets to the Philippines can cost around Dh2,500 or more per pet, depending on airline and carrier type. It’s not cheap, but it’s worth every dirham when you see them land safely and run into your arms again.”

She’s personally assisted with the relocation of dozens of cats — some flying in cargo, others in-cabin — ensuring that every animal, regardless of its past, gets a future filled with love.

Despite the challenges, the vet bills, and the emotional toll, Divierte never stops.

“Sometimes people ask, ‘Why do you do this?’ And I say, it’s because these animals love without asking for anything in return. How can I turn my back on that?”

She credits the UAE’s supportive vet community, kind-hearted donors, and fellow rescuers with helping her keep going. And above all, she thanks the animals — each one with a name, a story, a second chance.

“They save me just as much as I save them. Every cat I’ve rescued has left pawprints on my soul.”

Dr Gelah Marie Magtuba, a Filipino veterinarian and business owner in Dubai, has spent her career treating animals not just with medicine, but with empathy — especially those carrying invisible wounds from trauma, abandonment, or neglect.

“We often see pets that look fine on the outside, but their behavior tells another story. Trauma doesn’t always show up as injuries. It hides in fear, in flinching at human touch, in constant pacing or freezing.”

Working at Dreamers Veterinary Clinic, Dr Magtuba has seen a growing number of rescued animals come through her doors — many of them abandoned by expat owners who left the country without them.

She describes trauma as something that can completely rewire a pet’s behavior — often for life, unless it's properly addressed.

“Fearfulness, aggression, hypervigilance, excessive grooming, and destructive behavior — these are all red flags. Sometimes they’re mistaken for bad behavior or stubbornness, but they’re symptoms of a deeper emotional wound.”

One example is a cat that grooms itself until its skin is raw, trying to self-soothe. Or a dog that lunges at strangers out of fear, not hostility. She explains that even the most subtle changes in routine or environment — like the disappearance of an owner — can trigger a deep sense of insecurity in animals, especially those already traumatized.

“Abandoned pets often develop separation anxiety, phobias, or show symptoms of PTSD. It’s not something they just ‘get over.’ It stays with them unless treated properly.”

What many don’t realize, Dr Magtuba warns, is that emotional trauma can lead to serious health issues.

“Chronic stress in pets increases cortisol, which suppresses the immune system. That opens the door to infections, digestive problems, and long-term health deterioration.”

In younger animals, trauma can impair brain development, making it difficult for them to learn, form emotional bonds, or regulate behavior even years later. This is why she emphasizes early intervention and trauma-informed care.

“Some pets might never become what people expect — cuddly, playful, outgoing. That doesn’t mean they’re broken. It means they need a different kind of love.”

Dr Magtuba makes it clear: there’s no quick fix for a traumatized pet.

“There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Every pet has a different trauma history, health status, and personality.”

Treatment often includes a full health evaluation, anti-anxiety medication, and a personalized behavior therapy plan developed with a certified animal behaviorist. In some cases, calming supplements, pheromone diffusers, and diet changes are added. But one thing is always constant: time and patience.

“Healing isn’t linear. There are setbacks. Some days will feel like progress, others like you’re back at zero. But consistency is what changes everything.”

One of the most moving cases Dr Magtuba recalls is Bailey, a malnourished shepherd mix found tied to a tree, terrified of humans. After 10 months in a shelter, he barely moved or made eye contact.

“He wouldn’t eat near people. He was completely shut down.”

When Luis, a vet tech, adopted him, he patiently sat near Bailey’s crate every day with treats — no pressure, just presence. After weeks of silence, Bailey finally wagged his tail.

“That was the breakthrough. Love, given patiently, always finds a way.”

Now, Bailey runs in the park, greets other dogs, and sleeps peacefully beside Luis — a testament to what commitment, not perfection, can achieve.

Dr Magtuba has a strong message for those considering adoption — especially of traumatized pets — and for expats planning to relocate:

“If you adopt, commit fully. These animals have already been through rejection. Don’t add to their pain. And if you’re leaving the country — take them with you. It’s not just the humane thing to do; it’s the only right thing to do.”

She also warns new adopters not to fall for unrealistic expectations:

·         Don’t expect instant affection. Traumatized pets need to come to you on their own terms.

·         Avoid overstimulation. Give them a quiet environment and introduce changes slowly.

·         Never use punishment. It only deepens fear and delays trust.

·         Expect lifestyle changes. You may have to cancel travel, limit guests, or delay life plans — because your pet’s wellbeing must come first.

“Healing takes time. But when it happens — when a scared, silent dog finally curls up beside you, or a cat starts to purr in your lap — it’s the most rewarding feeling in the world.”

In the end, the question isn’t can you take them with you — it’s will you?

Because for them, you are their whole world. Don’t leave them behind.