Notes to self: Tech-challenged me

Technology is my frienemy. Over the past few weeks it has been the best thing about my life and the worst.

I wouldn't have got through the cycling trip if I hadn't been able to blare out the UK Top 40 from my phone all day. And I wouldn't have been able to leave Bangkok at all if I didn't have the luxury of being able to work from anywhere, provided I have my laptop.

My phone meant I could stay in touch with my friends, even when we stayed in obscure little towns and cities you've never heard of. However, technology has also been the bane of my existence. I have a knack for breaking people's televisions, just by pressing buttons on a remote control. I got my ex-boyfriend's TV stuck on an Egyptian property channel for three days before he could fix it. I've lost three phones in a year (one after just one week). My friend Brock had to take me to a shop and tell me which phone to buy, because my last one was terrible, apparently (I thought it was a good one). Despite now having a good phone, I have had to have it fixed twice, despite owning it just three weeks. Twice I've lost all the music and photos from it, and some days it just decides it won't charge.

I've also been through four computers in two months. Yes, four. Two kept crashing, one was so slow it took me three hours to write 150 words, and one wouldn't log on to the internet. It gets very embarrassing to tell your editor that your computer has died yet again.

I know this isn't typical, so, really, what am I doing wrong? On my cycling trip, it was just Brock and me, so whenever my phone died or computer crashed, I'd wail out "Brooooooock, it's BROKEN again" in a sulky voice, while shoving it in his direction. Thankfully, Brock can usually, grudgingly, fix most of my technology blunders (like the time my music "wasn't working" and he discovered I had the volume on my phone turned to mute).

For a journalist with a massive Facebook and Twitter addiction, I suck at technology. I only just got a smartphone and I was delighted to discover I can access the internet on my laptop via it. I can't believe I didn't know about that before — it's changed my life. I feel like a whole new world has opened up to me with Instagram, WhatsApp and Google Maps on my phone (provided someone shows me how to use them). That is the very extent of my technology use; I can log on to Facebook, check in and look at people's photos. But when it comes to downloading music, "syncing" things and whatever else people do on their phones, iPads and computers, I am confused. I think I'm always about five years behind technology. I still find it exciting that I can take a photo and upload it on Twitter then and there. Amazing!

Brock planned our whole Bangkok-to-Singapore bike trip on his phone, taking us down tiny little dirt tracks he'd found on Google Maps. He would track the kilometres we'd done (2,260km in all). He could find the nearest hotel when we needed to stop. He even ordered food for me in Chinese using some app or another when they didn't understand the word "vegetarian".

I guess this isn't very informative for all of you. You've known about these things for years. You're probably reading these very words from your iPhone. Well, to me it's a mystery. Despite being a fairly modern woman, I have somehow turned a blind eye to all of technology's incredible advances and, as punishment, all the technology I own is getting payback.

Like Skynet in Terminator, but with less world destruction and more blue-screening.