I like me

My friend suggested to me recently that all my columns are full of self-deprecation week after week, and that perhaps I should attempt at least one where I point out some good qualities that I have.

It's much more difficult than it seems when you don't particularly take yourself seriously — how can you when you're prone to falling over and smearing food all over yourself every time you eat? Saying nice things about yourself can make you feel immodest, vain or downright deluded.

My friend had a point though. It's so easy to believe all the bad stuff we are told that we can forget the great qualities that we have.

The number of times I give someone a compliment — for instance, “I like that dress on you'' — and they bat it away with a self-deprecating comment, such as “Oh it was really cheap'' or “It would look better if I lost a few pounds.''

I do the same myself. But, as my mum always tells me, I need to learn how to accept a compliment and believe it. It's not just me, though.

It's something most women do. Next time somebody says something nice, just thank them and absorb it.

Perhaps we might even learn how to say something nice about ourselves? It speaks volumes about our discomfort about patting ourselves on the back that this is the hardest column I've ever written.

Here goes; I like the fact I am loyal to my friends and family and that I will go out of my way to help animals.

I also like that I have a thirst for knowledge and I try never to stop learning — ever since I read too much Jane Austen, I have had a desire to be “accomplished''.

Thinking badly of yourself can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you imagine yourself to be a bore, then it stands to reason that you won't have anything interesting to say at parties.

If you consider yourself to be a bad dresser, you will look uncomfortable in whatever you wear and will never be able to pull a nice outfit off with panache.

We are what we are, and we should embrace it. But at the same time, I think we should dish out more compliments too.

If you think somebody is a great friend — tell them. It's always lovely to hear a compliment.

Negative comments stay with us for a long time — particularly if they hit a nerve. I can think of two awful examples — a friend who was called fat in her youth has now shrunk to a shadow of herself but the comment still rings in her ears.

Another was told by a stranger that her ears stuck out too far. She's now having surgery to fix it.

My mum is a wise woman and, like she told me when I was being picked on in school, people only put you down because they're insecure about themselves.

Perhaps if we all had a bit more confidence in who we are, we would all be a bit nicer to each other.