Dubai: You are conversing with a stranger, when abruptly, he places a hand on your arm and steps closer than an arm’s length from your body.
Immediately, alarm bells go off in your mind, and something psychologists call the ‘amygdala hijack’ – an instinctive, overwhelming emotional response, triggered by a perceived threat. In such situations, people either freeze, find an excuse to flee, or react aggressively.
What just happened here is an invasion of personal space. Whether you’re standing in a Metro queue, or chatting with colleagues at work – the invisible boundaries you set up around you can be quickly and easily compromised.
But just how close is too close? And who tends to encroach most often?
In a poll on gulfnews.com, half of the poll respondents said they experienced people from the same gender invading their personal space.
Gulf News surveyed a sample size of 15 men and 15 women, from different backgrounds and nationalities, on whether being comfortable with people from the same sex led to the blurring of spatial boundaries.
A majority 7 of 15 women agreed – they have had frequent experiences of other women stepping too close for comfort. However, most of the men surveyed – 8 of 15 – did not seem to experience this problem.
According to US-based publication Psychology Today, women, in general, tend to be more affiliative and concerned with bonding than men, which can explain why their personal space is invaded more often.
She said: “I don’t want anyone sitting too close to me, especially when I am eating and the whole couch is empty.”
“Sometimes, people stand so close to you while you’re waiting in a line. I have often asked people to move back.”
He said: “I am not sure why, but I guess it might have something to do with the possibility of pick-pocketing, and more importantly, the notion that they are trying to jump the line. This has never happened to me if the person was a woman.”
But is there a magic number for how close you should stand, relative to another person?
Maria Abdul Muquheeth, a Filipina national working in human resources in Dubai, has done the maths. She consciously maintains a distance of five steps from all women. With men, it increases.
She said: “I am a keen observer and I don’t just jump into someone’s space. If I meet someone for the first time, it would take time for me to get close to the individual. If a woman stands closer than five steps to me, it means she has known me for many years.”
The private space bubble we create around us, is measurable, some researchers say.
American anthropologist Edward Hall studied proxemics – the human use of space – in the 1960s and his extensive research still stands today. He stated that people were enveloped by bubbles of four different sizes, each of which, applies to a different set of people.
The smallest zone, called intimate space, extends about 45cm outward from our bodies, and only permits family members and pets to enter. The next circle extends from 0.5 metres to 1.2 metres away and is called personal space – here, friends are welcome, especially during informal conversations, but never strangers. From 1.2 metres to 3.6 metres away from us is social space, where acquaintances and people we don’t know are accepted. Beyond that is public space, open to all.
While Hall’s research provides a rough idea of the kind of space we seek, our perception of the ideal distance is always being challenged and modified.
Country dwellers are used to more space than urbanites, for instance. But the Earth expects to see an addition of 4 billion people before this century is over, according to a United Nations study. By 2050, almost 70 per cent of people are predicted to be living in urban areas.
Overpopulated cities means the shrinking of personal space.
Dr Seraphim added: “Social status also has an impact. When two persons from different social statuses are communicating, their personal space is wider than usual. A person from a higher social status might reduce the distance when she is speaking with a person of a lower social status. However, it is very rare for a person from a lower status to get physically closer to an interlocutor who has a higher social standing.”
Another factor that plays a significant role, is culture. Gulf News’ survey found that an overwhelming majority of readers – 29 of 30 – believed cultural differences lead to the invasion of personal space.
But when living in the UAE, where over 200 nationalities collide on a daily basis, people should be able to adapt and adjust their expectations of personal space.
She said: “People’s manners are different based on their cultures. But… people will respond to you based on how you deal with them, how you look at and how you treat someone.”
Poll
Gulf News asked: Have you experienced people from the same gender invading your personal space?
Yes 50%
No 36%
I’ve experienced it with people from the opposite gender 14%