Don't dismiss it as attention: There's more to tummy aches.
If you want to know how your child feels about school, listen to what they don’t say. The answers lie in the simplest sentences, perhaps something as innocuous as even forgetting homework. They will hide their anxiety in casual remarks, half-smiles, and innocent playfulness.
Yet, if you listen carefully, these simple phrases can reveal fears that deserve gentle attention and support.
It might sound like laziness. But don’t get angry, first. If you see a pattern, especially on certain days of the week, it means your child is trying to avoid something specific. Maybe, a difficult subject, a strict teacher of a pack of bullies.
How to help: Instead of forcing them out the door immediately, ask open questions: “What’s happening today that makes you feel this way?” Once you know the trigger, work with the school to address it while reassuring your child that you’re on their side.
Parents tend to make the mistake of dismissing it as ‘attention-seeking’. But the answer isn’t as clear as ‘well, why don’t you study harder?’ There is a lot more to the self-doubt. It also signals signal performance anxiety or a deeper fear of failure. A bad test report isn’t just a bad test report; it can corrode a child within.
How to help: Remind them that learning is about progress, not perfection. Praise effort over results and share your own stories of learning from mistakes. If the anxiety persists, consider extra support such as tutoring or counselling to rebuild confidence.
This is a painful one. The struggles of loneliness and isolation begins at a rather young age, steamrolling their confidence. Gradually, school becomes an unsafe space, and they look for unhealthy ways of coping.
At this point, talk to your child: Be attentive, and show them that they aren’t alone. Don’t step into the school atmosphere immediately, as they might fear it as an interference: Just give them the required support at this time and let them know they’re not alone.
How to help: Listen without minimising their feelings. Role-play conversation starters at home, encourage them to join school clubs or activities, and — if needed — discreetly ask a teacher to help pair them with a friendly peer.
Frequent ‘mystery’ ailments before school aren’t always about physical health. They can be the body’s way of expressing anxiety, and the timing, just before the school run — is a clue.
How to help: Stay calm and don’t accuse them of faking it. Validate the discomfort, then gently explore what’s on their mind about the day ahead. If this becomes frequent, collaborate with both a doctor and the school to address possible emotional causes.
Sometimes it’s a misunderstanding; other times, your child may genuinely feel unsupported or picked on. Either way, this perception can make the classroom feel hostile, even if the teacher isn’t aware of it.
How to help: Encourage them to share specific examples. Then, approach the teacher privately — not to accuse, but to understand both perspectives and create a plan that helps your child feel supported in class.
This could hint at sensory sensitivity or overstimulation, common in busy hallways, cafeterias, or playgrounds. For some children, constant noise creates stress they can’t easily verbalise.
How to help: Teach them calming techniques such as deep breathing or focusing on a small object in their pocket. Ask the school if they can have short breaks in a quieter space, especially during noisy times like recess or lunch.
Forgetting once or twice is normal; a pattern might mean avoidance. Maybe the homework feels overwhelming, or they fear the reaction if it’s wrong. This kind of “forgetfulness” is often a quiet protest against an underlying fear.
How to help: Break homework into smaller steps and create a calm, distraction-free workspace. Stay nearby for encouragement, and celebrate small wins to help them rebuild a sense of capability.
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