10 Things TV was not invented for

We all have our personal lists of the zaniest/quirkiest/
funniest/craziest/smartest ... We devote this page to them. This week, Sandra Mufarrij lists her top ten things the TV was not invented for...

To provide background noise: Singles do it to make up another presence in an otherwise empty house; moms do it to integrate real noises (screaming kids) as part of the TV. If it's coming from the TV, then maybe it's not real.

A subjective mirror: You're all dolled up, looking great, and heading for the door. A quick peek in the blank TV screen provides the final reassurance – seeing as objects appear larger than they really are on a turned off screen, then we must look pretty good!

A picture frame: Don't tell me none of you has freeze-framed George Clooney or Angelina Jolie.

A shelf : Once upon a time the TV could hold frames, vases, and various knick-knacks. With the slimmer models these days, you'd be lucky to balance a teeny tiny single stem vase.

A bulletin board: The one guaranteed place that any household member will magically be drawn to. Word to the wise: Post-its leave no traces.

Trompe l'oeil fireplace: Just because we're in the desert doesn't mean we can't get a blazing furnace going. But, you'll mostly be entertained by the visuals of your high definition resolution – minus the added advantage of actual warmth emanating. It's the UAE, warmth is abundant!

Low self-esteem: Earlier, 'real' women could ignore the impossible supermodel standards by simply speeding past a newsstand to avoid airbrushed pictures of "ideal women". But these days, it creeps up on you during innocent channel surfing when you land on Fashion TV.

I say stick to the motto: 'It's what's on the inside that counts'.Video conferencing With all the new and improved features, who needs real people anyway? nteracting via a screen is all the human contact we seem to need or have time for.

Multiple screens: You know the feature I'm talking about; the one where you can have multiple channels all open in different windows on one screen. You don't want to miss any developments on your favourite shows when the networks choose to air all of them at the same time.

Taking out your stress: No matter how stressed out you are, hurling something at the TV is not going to make you feel better. Well, it might. But that high is quickly shattered when you have to replace the item.