Constantly feeling responsible? 5 steps to conquer workplace burnout and let go of the saviour complex

If you're not there, things won’t get done right. Something will slip through the cracks. Oh no, something did go wrong, and you weren't there.

It’s your fault.

Sounds familiar?

Many of us believe we’re the only ones holding it all together at work, carrying the weight of every task, responsibility, and deadlines. But gradually, that pressure builds, and stress starts to drain our energy. So, how do you manage the burden when it feels like the entire workplace is resting on your shoulders?

Let go of the saviour complex

First, recognise that the weight of the workplace isn’t on your shoulders, explains Aminah Kelly, a Dubai-based health coach and corporate wellness mentor. "It’s a common mindset: 'Without me, everything will fall apart. It’s all my responsibility.' But that’s simply not true," she says. "You're pushing yourself to the edge, almost adopting a saviour complex, and working yourself into the ground."

This saviour complex can have serious consequences, as it often leads to intense micromanaging. You start believing that no one can do the job as well as you can, which fosters hostility, frustration, and bitterness in the workplace atmosphere,” adds Kelly. “Not only does this harm you, but it also harms everyone around you." It breeds animosity, as such people start hunting for faults in their own anxiety, which deepens the rifts between them and their employees.

So, for starters, accept that you aren’t alone here. While it might feel easier to believe that  everyone else is relaxed and coasting through their day, there’s a good chance they’re also feeling overwhelmed in their own way. “What you’re experiencing is something called workload isolation,” says Kelly. You're carrying a heavy load, but it’s important to remember that other people are navigating their own pressures. Recognising this doesn’t erase your stress, but it can help you realize you’re not the only one in this boat.

Keeping our stress under control

No doubt, the stress is overwhelming. It’s consuming. Perhaps, that’s why most of us can never really ‘switch off’ from work. According to Natasha, a Dubai-based entrepreneur, you invariably check that email or start planning how to complete a task. Your mind starts whirring and it doesn’t stop, leading to possible spirals.

So, how do we keep our stress under control? Nazli Balkir Neftci, Clinical Psychologist, The Psychiatry and Therapy Center, Dubai, breaks it down. “Recognising our power to control thoughts, emotions, responses, and judgments is crucial.” When you detect stress reactions, you can alter the perception of external challenges. “We have to be aware of what is outside our control bubble and within. This distinction helps us to save our emotional resources for places where we can improve, including our attitudes and behaviours.”

Still, addressing outside variables like others' behaviour or organisational changes could help us let off frustration and anxiety. When we let go of trying to manage what we can't, we gain clarity, reduce worry, and focus on what we can control.

In other words, you have to accept that you cannot change other people’s behaviours, or generally, circumstances. As Kelly says, “If you’re on holiday, you have to just trust that the office will run without you.”

Driven by expectations, driven by perfectionism: How to check in on ourselves

We can be our harshest critics. The fear of letting others down often drives us to perfectionism and anxiety. If something goes wrong, even if we weren’t directly involved, we blame ourselves. We become fixated on expectations, driven by the need for approval or the crippling fear of failure.

That’s when it’s time to check in on yourself, says Balkir. “Self-reflection helps us recognise emotional and behavioral patterns. It allows us to identify triggers from work, relationships, and internal pressures that contribute to our feelings,” she explains. “Internal pressures may manifest as self-imposed demands, perfectionism, or fear of failure. Recognising how these expectations can weigh you down and lead to feelings of inadequacy or anxiety is crucial.”

Understanding that many of our worries stem from our own expectations or fears helps us gain a better perspective, ultimately allowing us to control our emotions and handle workplace conflicts more effectively.

Once your stress is under control and you’ve done enough introspection, you can turn to more concrete ideas when work feels so overwhelming, suggests Kelly.

Establishing personal boundaries

Our ability to set personal boundaries is quite crucial. It can mean defining working hours, a desk, or after-hours email policies. Think about careful questions:

What behaviours or activities do I exhibit that garner approval from coworkers or managers?

•​Is my focus on pleasing others compromising my well-being?

•​Do my support efforts sometimes backfire, causing tiredness or resentment?

•​How can I distinguish true support from people-pleasing?

Setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, but recognising the underlying need for validation helps us stay mentally healthy and in a better position to help others.

Once your stress is under control and you’ve done enough introspection, you can turn to more concrete ideas when work feels so overwhelming, suggests Kelly.

Setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, but recognising the underlying need for validation helps us stay mentally healthy and in a better position to help others.

 Break down the to-do list

When your to-do list seems endless, the first step is to break it down. Big projects can feel impossible when you’re staring at them in their entirety. Try chunking them into smaller, more manageable tasks. Instead of saying, I need to finish the entire report," say, ‘I’ll tackle the first three sections today.’

Lean into self-care

You can’t pour from an empty cup. When you’re at work trying to juggle everything, don’t forget about your own well-being. Whether it’s taking a walk, meditating for a few minutes, or simply sitting in a quiet space, making time for yourself will help recharge your mental batteries. Even five-minute breaks to stretch or breathe deeply can make a huge difference in your stress levels. The key is consistency, small doses of self-care add up.

Delegate, delegate

Even the best managers delegate, so why shouldn’t you? If there’s anyone who can help, whether it’s a colleague or a subordinate, let them. Delegating isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of smart leadership. Don’t hesitate to ask for assistance on tasks that others can handle. Giving away a few responsibilities will lighten your load and let others contribute to the success of the project. Plus, it fosters teamwork and shows trust in your colleagues.

Perhaps, the best way to handle stress and the rhetoric of ‘If I’m not there…’ at work, is to acknowledge that you are just human, says Kelly. “You aren’t a machine and neither are you blessed with superpower. You aren’t the only one holding it all together at work, and if you feel that way, then it’s time to step up and speak to others and help out more.”

Remember, that It’s okay to take breaks, ask for help, and not finish every task in record time. Set realistic expectations for yourself. If something isn’t done by the end of the day, so be it. Chances are, the world won’t end, and your productivity will actually improve once you’ve had a chance to rest and reset.