Do you have a real friend in the UAE?

I moved to Dubai in February this year. I took some time to settle in. I guess I’m still getting comfortable with my surroundings. I feel the most comfortable at home. I’ve managed to have a friend here in Dubai and that’s my husband really who is my ‘real’ friend/companion here. When I feel home sick, I use the landline phone that my darling husband has installed for me at home, so I can connect with friends and family back home in India and chat with them at length. With the landline it’s much more economical and so I don’t have to worry about extended heart-to-hearts. Also, Skype helps. – Qashish Dhiraj Mehta

As we flip through every page of our lives we come across various experiences, ups and downs and emotions. The UAE has offered a wondrous life to all the people it holds within itself and the final sprinkle of happiness is the contagious smiles of our non-biological siblings – friends. Friends are like the important ingredients of a recipe. I am blessed to have the little bunch of friends I have come across and since then, I’ve had the happiest smiles, the loudest laughs, the longest phone calls and the quickest rescues from the most awkward situations. Psychology says that there are 150 people a person comes across in their entire lifetime. Out of them, only 10 are the ones that make life impossible [without them]. I gladly grant all the 10 positions to my best friends who nurture me like a mother, protect me like a father, stand up for me during hardships like a brother, irritate me like a sister and significantly, love me a hundred times more than a lover. – Alankrita Srivastava

Real friends are hard to find when the old values are extinct and new ones are yet to arrive. I am fortunate enough to have a small group of friends who not only laugh at the lamest of jokes I have but also stand by me during the times of hardship. The definition of a friend initially meant endless support and trust along with constant companionship and availability. Friends not only correct you when you are wrong but they also make sure you don’t put yourself down for the smallest of mistakes. I am glad to have the friends I do and hope to have them by my side for the rest of my life, as even imagination is impossible when they aren’t around. – Safa Shaikh

Of course I do have a real friend here in UAE. As we are away from family and relatives it is really important for the sake of one’s sanity to have a real friend as otherwise things would really fall apart. My friendship with my friend, let’s call her R, started when used to live in the same building and used to see each other picking and dropping our children from the same babysitter. We soon started to talk to each other and then it grew from there. Mutual play dates, sharing food, going shopping, going for walks in the park and soon not a week passed without a meet-up. She soon grew to be my most important support .

I still remember breaking down when my daughter’s babysitter said she can no longer look after her on a Saturday. Of course R was there consoling me and saying we will find another one. And in the worst-case scenario she would look after her. I once had a acute allergy and without asking, R called and told me not to cook until it got cured and she would send food over as she had a cook to help her. House shifting meant R would come, and then leave her maid to help me pack and clean. I still remember when there were financial issues, R called me to India, asking if she needs to hold her salary in case I need it. She went on to have two more children. I only have one. The children now are on the way to college and we continue to be friends and in each other’s lives to this day. I hope I have been half as much a real friend as she has been to me. – Sarita Sankaran

As I reflect on the phrase real friend, it is an unsettling question that I have had in my mind always. Back in the small town in India that I hail from, ‘real friend’ manifested itself through books and movies. From these books and movies, I understood what a real friend should be capable of: Displaying kindness unconditionally, non-judgemental, able to listen patiently at times of distress, has rational advice that can balance my emotional instability at times, always ready to partner with me in harmless shenanigans that brings out the inner child in me. This is only few to list. When I ponder on these qualities, finding a real friend in this fast-paced, multi-cultural and multi-lingual land remained a far-fetched thought. However, deeper introspection helped me to realise that I can identify these friends under strange circumstances and incidentally among strangers too.

In traffic while I drive, the stranger who allows me enter the lane ahead of him when I look at him from my side window and say the uncommon word ‘please’. In him I met a friend. In the parking lot when I ran out of dirhams and the stranger who helped me without my request, just looking at my plight: I met a real friend. In the supermarket when the stranger helped me to grab the groceries I dropped and returned with ‘let me know if I can help you with the bags until your car’: I met my real friend. A colleague at work who observes my frustration just from my face, pats my shoulder and gives the best rational advice: ‘It will be OK with time’: I see my friend. My son, who brings out the child in me when I play with him: I recognise my real friend.

Lastly, in the wee hours of the silent night, when I close my eyes and talk my thoughts, however irrational, there is a source who I know listens patiently. I recognized my real friend in God.

I realised, a real friend sometimes cannot be one individual but an emotion that is there deep in everyone around us, we just have to observe, pay attention and appreciate it with gratitude. – Kowshika Mallesh George

I have two real friends who have been my cornerstone in Dubai from the time I came here. They are not the typical friends who look at me like ATM or credit card, but rather who share the same philosophy in life – which is to be vigilant and to spend on necessities and not on luxuries. For 10 years in Dubai, my values have been tested – to hold on and be strong, to struggle with faith, to pray and to anchor with God. We are all professionals and working in different offices, different businesses but we have common interest – to survive without stepping on others. With all our problems, we share advice from personal experiences and for all our happiness, we share all the cheers and laughters. We all hope that when time comes to go home to each of our home countries, we will remain in touch and cherish the memories as best friends forever. – Ma Teresa Sanchez-Edpan

I used to hear that life changes a lot after marriage. Yes it does and for me it has changed for the better. Back in India, I was living in a joint family but when I moved to Dubai after marriage, it was just my husband and I. It was difficult initially but with my husband being on my side everything seemed smooth. He has brought the best out of me and has tried to push me whenever I loose hope. He listens to my silly talks, pacifies me when I get angry, consoles me when I feel low – the list is endless. He completes me in all possible ways. I am blessed to have a husband who is my real best friend. – Juhi Mohan

I have a childhood friend who is sincere and affectionate which has been reconnected few years back. Although we live miles apart, thanks to technology we can keep in touch with each other on a daily basis. I can share my joys and woes and feel patiently listening to me. Making me understand when I get worked up with issues. I consider myself lucky to have one such good and true friend…because true friends are a rarity in this present world.

Sometimes friends whom we consider to be of the same wavelength for years, turn out to be not genuine. It’s not the long years which should count but the essence of the relationship and truthfulness which we should take into consideration. – Eappen Elias

The very fact this question has been raised goes to throw light on how fleeting and hollow friendships and relationships have become today. I often hear of people saying that though they know so many, there’s very few they can count on in times of need. Having said that, I have been blessed with a few outstanding friends who I can depend on even at the oddest hour. One of them is my soul sister who senses my problems or anxieties even before I spell them out to her. She has been my constant shoulder for support, encouragement and advice. Such people should be treasured for life. – Vaishali Sabherwal

I am in the UAE for more than 10 years now and honestly it’s really hard to have friends or real friends here because of most of us are expats, but I am very blessed with few good friends and real ones that I am really thankful for. Some I talk to a lot and some I meet few times a month. I think having real friends means knowing that you are best of friends even you don’t talk/see eachother often. In Dubai’s busy life, having 1-3 friends is perfect. – Shiela Arciaga-Fekry

I have one real friend in UAE. Spending my 18th year in this country, I met lots of people. Lots of different types of people. Within these I found only one as my real friend, a true friend. It is very easy to say that I Am Your Friend, but difficult to maintain the friendship, the relationship. We did it. Sixteen years back we met, slowly we came to know that we are very comfortable with each other. We barely met in person, we saw each other last may be two years back. Actually to keep a relationship you don’t need to meet regularly. Which are most important in any relationship are understanding and respect. We share everything within us, good or bad, happiness or sadness, we point out each other’s faults and goodness without any hesitation. While sharing our everyday’s ups and downs, sometimes we become each other’s parents to guide, become siblings, sometimes just enjoy our friendship as a friend. God bless our friendship. – Archana Sen

I have been in the UAE for several years. Had a few friends who I thought were real friends over the years. They did prove that but they have left and in a way It has been ‘out of sight out of mind’. However, right now I have one real friend I can surely say who cares for me so much. Family members have drifted away and some of them don’t even wish me on my birthday. My friend is my family member of choice. If not for her, I would be lost. She accepts me as I am physically, mentally and my personality. I am grateful for her friendship. – Lyne Viegas

Amidst the fast-paced life style in the UAE, being available for your friends could be next to impossible. However I have been very fortunate that I have forged some good friends here. They happen to be my ex-colleagues with whom I share a deep bond. These are the kind of buddies who let me be myself. They step in when I need them the most. Though I have moved to another company, we exchange pleasantries on the phone and make sure that we catch up often. It is true that I miss them as they are not always around. But I am not worried because I know that we will remain friends forever. – Suni John