Answer your questions about Arabic culture

If you were asked to list some of the most embarrassing moments in your life, which category do you think will take up most of the list? Dining table etiquette? (The chicken that flew off the plate as you were cutting it; the butter knife you placed in the table setting mistaking it for a fish knife ...). Public speaking? (The time when you used 'facilitate' instead of 'felicitate'). Or corporate etiquette? (Too many pitfalls here.) Common sense says none of the above. The most embarrassing moments fall in the category of cultural etiquette. Why? Because it is the most delicate etiquette of all.

Ask Ali Abdulkarim Alsaloom.

A personable young man, this Abu Dhabi-based Emirati has taken it upon himself to clarify the social traditions of the Middle East for visitors as well as expatriates. "The kind of bloopers foreigners commit while interacting with an Arab is due to the lack of understanding and preparedness," he says with a smile. This is what impelled this gracious 30-year-old to do something about it.

As a self-appointed cultural ambassador of the Middle East, he is hard at work building a bridge between the culture he belongs to with the rest of the world. His cultural awareness workshop organised as part of the 6th Abu Dhabi Music and Arts Festival (ADMAF) was an eye-opener and even for those who have been here for many years and are quite knowledgeable in these matters, his workshop will be a refreshing reminder.

"Assalam Alaikum!" he booms in his pleasant voice as he flags off his workshop.

Upon not receiving a hearty response from his audience, he shows his dissatisfaction and makes us repeat our response thrice – Wa'alaikum Assalam – before he lets us off the hook. "I usually do this in classrooms," he says, from the stage on which he is standing and smiling at us. "Up here, I feel like a performer. But then I love to speak, I am a speaker, so I guess it's fine!

"People often confuse our religion, Islam, with our national traditions," says Alsaloom. "All Arabs are not Muslims and all Muslims are not Arabs and people in the region have been living in harmony for centuries."

As he deftly and seamlessly leads his audience down various paths of cultural understanding and awareness of Arab culture, he signposts the way further with personal anecdotes and humour. The journey becomes interesting from the word go.

When he graduated from school in 1997, his father asked him what he wanted to do. "I want to become a pilot in the air force," he replied. "I want to do something for my country."

However, since he was the only male child, his mother was reluctant to let him serve in the defence forces. His father suggested he choose another career path. "He advised me to join the hospitality industry which was in a fledgeling state at the time." Alsaloom was shocked at the suggestion. 'But, Father, you know I hate hospitals and surgeries…"

The ripple of laughter in the audience is entirely spontaneous. Alsaloom then goes on to narrate how his father gently corrected him by telling him that he would be a good fit in the 'hospitality' industry as he had the requisite qualities. Which are? A heart-warming smile, a cultured demeanour and an open mind.

Just when young Alsaloom wished to swing his vote to his father's suggestion, his classmates dampened his optimism. They scorned at his inclination. "I was like a person shunned by society," he says, his characteristic grin by now making its presence felt once again. Though he was hurt by his peers' attitude, it taught him the value of cultivating friends who valued education. Buoyed by his father's constant encouragement, the idea of becoming an Emirati icon in the hospitality industry took definite shape.

Subsequently, a scholarship to pursue a degree in Hospitality Management from the University of Central Florida, USA, came in extremely handy. It was during his university years in the US that Alsaloom realised the extent of interest and curiosity about the Middle East and its people among foreigners. "Most people associate the region with stereotypical emblems – camels and desert – and so are curious to know more: what the nationals eat, how they live...

"Before 9/11, it was a great experience to explain who you are to a positively curious audience. But 9/11 changed it all," he says sombrely. Alsaloom was to experience the fallout of the tragedy at first hand. He, along with Adam, an Arab-American partner from the US, had decided to open a restaurant called Middle East Buffet for hands-on work experience and also to obtain the credits required for his graduation.

The Middle East Buffet had a logo of a palm tree and a camel, and the outlet was set to open on September 13, 2001. But two days before the scheduled date, the event of 9/11 threw everything into disarray. A couple of hours after the incidents occurred, Adam called up Alsaloom to find out if he was okay.
"I'm OK," Alsaloom told him, "but I'm thinking of other options (regarding the restaurant)." His enterprising nature was intact. "We came up with a new sign changing 'Middle East' to 'Universal', and the day was saved."

"The events of 9/11 and the aftermath led me to look at the bigger picture and broaden my vision – from presenting cuisine from only my region to presenting a global cuisine." Alsaloom came up with a themed menu in which they served a different cuisine every week. "It was a lot of fun," he recalls.

Later, when he returned to Abu Dhabi (a year on), he sold the business at a profit. With this evidence of entrepreneurial creativity and management skills, he could have written his own ticket into the hotel industry in the UAE. But it was not to be. "I started out as a doorman at the Rotana Beach Hotel," he says with disarming candour. "Later, I graduated to the post of a concierge and then to the reception desk." What kept Alsaloom going was the belief that knowing the ropes of the industry would eventually be a feather in his cap.

A master's degree from a Canadian university was his next acquisition. After this, a question popped up in his mind, "What next?" (It must be mentioned here that by now he had also learnt to speak German and Korean.)

Alsaloom decided it was time to consolidate his academic background and work experience by setting up his own enterprise. He wanted to spend more time in creating something. The result was a company, Maestro Commercial Enterprises, which includes Embrace Arabia.com, a cross-cultural understanding training firm that assists any newcomer individual or company setting up his/her business in the UAE with an understanding of the culture of the land and its people. It smoothens the creases in the relocation experience of senior executives.

Alsaloom has clients from the UK, US and Germany, who fly in, sometimes for just 48 hours, for a one-on-one consultation with him in an attempt to understand the culture of the UAE.

"All business is about making profit but Embrace Arabia is more than just sharing my culture; it's about a responsibility," he says. He has also done project-based marketing for companies beginning from designing the logo to the launch and market studies of products.

His website, ask-ali.com, came about from his experiences in the US and Canada. Anybody who had a doubt or query about the Middle East was told to 'ask Ali'.

So, he decided to take it a step further and launched the website that promises an answer to any question within 24 hours. It also offers information on the logistics of getting visas, setting up business, local rules and regulations.

"I've answered around 2,000 questions so far on the site," he says. "So, that gives you an idea of the kind of gap in information most visitors as well as expatriates face on the place and its people."

What Alsaloom did was to spot that gap and fill it – by empowering his own business to accommodate the hunger for information, as well as spread the word about his country around the world. He has been invited to places as far away as South Korea and Canada to talk to groups interested in the region.

Alsaloom is amazed at people's fascination with Bedouin life and he says he often gets requests from visitors who want to know if it is likely to find tribes trekking across the desert and perhaps visit them in their homes? This kind of half-knowledge is what pushes Alsaloom ahead in his mission to see that the world at large learns that life in the region has moved on and changed dramatically in recent years.
Alsaloom is proud to be a global Arab ambassador and hugely aiding him in this task are his wit and charm, his pride and passion.

These qualities are not only admirable and ever-present, they also reveal the new face of the young Arab for the world to see. The diversification of the region is certainly reflecting a new modern society, but Alsaloom says that "the roots of our tradition, the importance of family, our openness and friendliness will never get diluted."

Despite the changes, one size does not fit all in the region, he says. But he's encouraged by the growing number of questions and comments his website
is receiving. "People want to know what is going on in the region."

He finds this incredibly encouraging as more and more people are benefiting from the success in the UAE and surrounding countries. "This is all good for us; more people will come and more people will need my services!" He adds that some of the best ambassadors for the UAE have been the visitors. "They have returned with positive feedback and more people are coming in every week; the cultural diversity is truly amazing."

All these new consumers need assistance to settle in the region. The assistance can sometimes be in issues as everyday as the safety of drinking water to the trends in the male Arab dress or how advertising might influence Emiratis. No subject is too small or too big for Alsaloom – he is only too happy to advise on all.

What about social codes? "[That category] is not quite simple," says Alsaloom. "Arab men will usually shake a woman's hand, but if they don't offer a handshake, don't take it personally." Men, on the other hand, will nearly always shake hands with each other and "they will usually kiss on the cheek and they may indulge in a bit of nose rubbing. That's common practice, but only for men, and only for Arab men." Alsaloom advises Western women to wait until the man initiates the connection, be it a business or a social engagement.

But if you really want to create a positive impression on an Emirati, learn his language, Alsaloom advises. It is a good thing for all expatriates and business travellers in the Middle East to learn Arabic. He believes that speaking their language can spread instant joy among the Arabs. When we hear foreigners greet us with an 'Assalam Alaikum' or depart with a 'Shukran', we feel such joy to know that they have taken the trouble to learn a few words of our language.

"It is this understanding that spurs me to learn other languages and speak to the people in their tongue. I believe this is the best ice-breaker in any social or business interaction."

He dispels the myth about the complexity of the Arabic language. "Arabic is very easy to learn. I think it's even easier than learning English as in Arabic you write what you spell. Approximately 200 million people speak Arabic and it is an official United Nations language. Here in the UAE, Arabic is both the official and public language. Almost all official documents and forms in the UAE are in Arabic, as well as all the laws and decrees; hence, I think it is very important for you to have knowledge of Arabic for your own advantage.

"If you are a resident in the UAE or just a visitor, knowing some key words, phrases and expressions in Arabic will be of great help to you, whether in business, friendly conversations or in order to understand a request from an Arab. The Arabic language can be broadly split into standard Arabic and colloquial dialects.

"My UAE colloquial dialect is somehow difficult to understand even for other Arabs. However, with the emergence of the Gulf states as the regional economic centres in recent years, my dialect has also gained popularity. Dialects such as Egyptian and Levantine are also probably the most commonly understood in the Arab world because of the role of Egypt and the Levant as the long-time centres of Arab culture."

In his workshop, he explains in detail some common phrases and greetings in Arabic which we all use in our everyday life. He even peels off the layer of myth on the term 'Insha'allah'. "I am very pained what it has come to denote, especially with expatriates," he says. "It actually means 'yes', with the name of God added as a sign of respect. It doesn't mean it will not be done!"

Another myth he explodes is that eating in public during the Ramadan fasting period is against the law. "There is no such rule," he says. "It's just a matter of courtesy that you refrain from doing so. Actually, it is to my credit that I continue fasting even if I see you eating."

A commonly asked question is the mode of dress, for visitors and expatriates. It is respectful to dress modestly, but there are no guidelines to explain exactly what is meant by modest.

According to Alsaloom, "We basically mean, try not to dress too skimpily. If you're a lady, dresses and shorts should be at least of knee-length and sleeves should cover bare shoulders. If you are wearing short sleeves then simply carry a scarf or shawl to put on in public places. For men, a shirt, trousers or shorts is fine. Many men are now wearing revealing vests but this is not appreciated as an appropriate form of dress for public places."

Hand-holding and public displays of affection are not appreciated in malls and public areas, says Alsaloom. He does a perfect imitation of couples who conduct themselves in public using inappropriate body language which draws laughter from the audience, but the groundswell of keen realisation and awareness is nearly palpable.

Sitting in the workshop, his easy charm and keen observations distilling the essence of culture in impressively skilled measures, you feel a rush of happiness at the contact with another culture. It is at once revivifying and resurgently impactful.

The virtue of being able to share and understand the values and traditions of the UAE is that much more appreciated – once again and with more effect. Because the true culture of a people always respectfully asks them, during every onrush of time, to drop anchor so as to stay steady.

Those who heed its voice are rewarded by the delightfully fanciful vignettes of time as they march by. A bit like a fancy parade – great fun to turn out of our homes to watch it go by. But real life is what is waiting for us back home ... and we are eager to return. Alsaloom too dropped anchor long ago. It makes his efforts at reaching out so much more unshakeable and effective – both for him and those he touches.

You can watch Ali Alsaloom demonstrating the social codes online at www.onetvo.com.

Shiva Kumar Thekkepat is Feature Writer, Friday.