Abu Dhabi: Natural feelings of intimidation and fear should not prevent parents from sending their children abroad for university studies and making other tough decisions regarding their future, experts in the capital said.

After high school pupils graduate and begin to prepare for pursuing a degree in higher education, their parents are faced with an inevitable dilemma also known as the ‘empty nest’ syndrome. This phenomenon causes loneliness and even depression and can lead caregivers to force their youngsters into staying in the same country or city after school.

“These negative emotions can be magnified for parents who have an only child whom they are sending away or those who are unemployed and may therefore have a lot of spare time. In addition, being afraid to send your child away where they may be exposed to a different, more open environment, should not cause parents to become selfish and think of the difficulties that this journey imposes on them instead of its benefits on their children,” said Dr Dolly Habbal, PhD in Clinical Psychology, at the Diagnostic Assessment and Psychotherapy Department of Gulf Diagnostic Hospital.

This is why Dr Habbal encourages parents to become well-versed with the university and the city to which their children are travelling, and to make sure that they have an understanding of their youngsters’ needs.

“At this age, between adolescence and adulthood, young people feel like they have to prove themselves, causing an emotional distance between parent and child. However, most may find that their relationship with their kids may even improve after the move,” she added.

This is because relocating to new environments may make individuals homesick and instil a feeling of longing for the shelter they had under their parents’ care.

Umm Ali, a 44-year-old Arabic teacher in Abu Dhabi, told Gulf News that the decision of whether to send her son to the US for university depended on her trust in him and his ability to manage himself.

“Unlike our environment here, Western culture is more open towards things that do not necessarily conform with our religion and culture. Even when I saw that my son had made his decision and was very determined to travel there, it ultimately came down to whether I trusted him or not. By nature, my son is a leader and not a follower. When he was living at home he was always responsible and my relationship with him was strong,” the Emirati mother said.

In fact, Umm Ali also said that the bond between her and her 19-year-old child has become even stronger since he left.

“This is a new life for him. I have noticed a positive change in his maturing personality ever since he moved away around eight months ago in the overall way he handles his finances and studies. Of course, it was difficult for me in the beginning but overall I think it is a very positive experience,” she added.

Meanwhile, 22-year-old Hanan N., whose mother is now sending her third daughter to Canada for university, revealed that the situation is not getting easier for her mother despite the repeated number of times that she has gone through it.

“First with my brother, then with me and now with my younger sister, my mother continues to struggle and feel bad every time one of us leaves. But I think she has realised that this is the only means by which we can make a living for our future families in a way that she was not given the opportunity to do. She says she misses us but she does not want to see us leave until we become well-rounded and prepared for the world,” the International Studies senior in the University of St. Mary’s said.