Dubai: With the academic year just around the corner, experts are advising parents of children joining a new school to watch carefully for signs of them not fitting in.
Being the new kid at school in a new environment and, in most cases, with no friends, can cause fear and anxiety and lead to emotional and psychological problems.
Psychologists revealed that it can even cause psychological setbacks for children who are facing the pressures of not fitting in.
Experts said among the red flags which could indicate that your child may be struggling to fit in, are becoming self-absorbed, losing interest in friends, changing eating habits, faking illness to stay home, and avoiding social situations they previously enjoyed. Any of these behaviours may indicate that your child is having social problems, ranging from bullying to feeling left out to not making friends easily.
This can be problematic, said Dr Mohammad Tahir, child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist and medical director at Health-Call in Dubai Health Care City, adding that pupils who are socially comfortable perform better academically.
Dr Tahir revealed that there are many factors that cause students to have difficulties fitting in, among them fear of the unknown.
“We all know from our own experience that when we have minimal information about the situation it can cause anxiety, especially if someone has poor coping skills to deal with the situation. Children might feel rushed and pressured by the parents for preparation for the school year, another cause for anxiety,”
Dr Tahir said the fear of being bullied is another trigger for concern for pupils who might have a bad experience in the past, as well as simply transitioning from the fun activities of their summer vacation to the responsibilities and expectations of schools.
Parents’ role
Parents have the biggest role in helping their children fit in at school, Dr Tahir said, adding that parents should talk to their children about their feelings and prepare them for the transition.
“Before school opens, parents should involve children in preparing for school like purchasing school supplies. They should also talk to them about the first day of school and even role play [for younger children] school daily activities.”
Dr Tahir said talking to children about how they feel about going back to school and answering any concerns and questions is important. He also said parents should not pressure them but they should be supportive.
“Improve communication with children. Teach them that it is OK to talk about their difficulties and that you are ready to listen without being judgemental. Follow the cues if they hint at something which is bothering them, try to listen and talk about it, and answer honestly to the best of your knowledge.”
School activities
Rachana Sippy, a school counsellor at Dubai International Academy, advised students to get involved in extra-curricular activities.
“New students should take advantage of different social and groups and activities that exist in school. Being part of a team is a great way to make friends and meet people. ”
Gulf News also spoke to pupils, who agreed that getting involved in activities that require groups helps.
Celia Pedeprat, a 16-year-old grade 12 French student who goes to the Dubai American Academy, said one of the most difficult things about fitting in is the new social norms.
“In the 7th grade, I lost all my friends and I had to make new ones but it was simple. I used PE pairing as a way to become friends with Caroline, then I slowly branched out and I became friends with people I’ve known for years but never really had talked to.”
Indian Rachel Fernandez, 17, who attends Emirates International School Meadows, advised students to be themselves.
“Changing yourself for a new school doesn’t let the people know you at all. Making friends won’t be hard if you just push yourself. being lonely for a while isn’t so bad either.”
With inputs from Noelle Rajiv, Special to Gulf News
