‘Sushi’ marriages losing their spark in Bahrain

Manama When Fareed Ahmad Hassan first heard that sectarianism was destroying Bahrain’s social harmony, the newspaper editor sneered at the idea that Bahrainis, who have lived with one another peacefully for generations, could drift apart on the basis of which sect one is from.

But after speaking with relatives and friends, the Shiite, who has been married for decades to a Sunni woman, was convinced otherwise. “I was shocked to see that people dealt with one another on the basis of their sects. Gone are years of friendship and matrimonial unions,” he said.

“Many people over the weeks made decisions to continue or end their friendships or even marriages on the merit of the sect.”

“Sushi” marriages — between Sunnis and Shiites

“Sushi” marriages — between Sunnis and Shiites — have always formed an integral part of Bahrain’s socio-cultural and religious landscape.

For thousands of Bahrainis, such marriages had a special charm that did not exist in other unions and helped give a truly substantial meaning to compassionate tolerance and mutual acceptance.

Fareed said that from an early age, he had been convinced that sectarianism was a colonialist ploy to weaken a people and facilitate their domination.

“I performed my prayers in Sunni and Shiite mosques and felt good about it,” he said.

“I recall when I told my father that I wanted to get married and that I had found the right young woman, he asked me about her family and how educated she and they were. My mother immediately blessed our union, saying that there were no differences between the sects and that she looked forward to a happy marriage.”

Such conditions helped Fareed, his wife and children adapt easily to the co-existence of several sects in Bahrain.

“To us, the richness and diversity were assets, not liabilities. When the dramatic events in Bahrain unfolded and a terrible fissure appeared in the seams of the society, we did not panic and, in fact, we felt immune to threats,” he said.

Levels of tolerance

“We were a mixed-sect family, but our levels of tolerance and acceptance were so high that we knew that we would not be affected, even though many families around us started to crumble,” he said.

“My wife and I stressed that despite the ominous conditions around us, we all should uphold our values and keep our friendships with all open and tolerant. I am glad that our family not only survived the acid test, but also became closer and stronger,” he said.

“One of our daughters, who was Sunni and was in love with a young Shiite man, went ahead with her plans to marry him and we all supported her in her decision. We did not allow politics to pollute our views and we did not permit extremism to hijack our feelings.”For Fareed, the landmark of the family success is that they did not lose any of their numerous “lovely friends or compassionate relatives.”

Under threat

“Unfortunately, this wonderful aspect of our society is now under an ominous threat as many families frown upon them. In a similar dangerous escalation, we saw that people started last March to boycott goods sold in shops whose owners were from the other sect. Lists of shops and restaurants that should be boycotted have been widely circulated to ensure they reached the largest number of supporters. Calls by economists and politicians to end the boycott have been largely ignored. No amount of talk about the higher interests of the nation could make people bent on promoting their sect and defeating the other one change their minds. This is unprecedented in our history and we do not like it at all,” he said.

Fareed said that he thought his life over several countries and across a myriad of civilisations had enabled him to see so much that he does not get amazed or shocked easily.

“I was wrong. I thought that life had shown me almost everything, but little did I fathom the social tragedy in Bahrain. I find totally unacceptable that people base their feelings for one another on sects, but it is a fact now. The events in Bahrain have unfortunately affected families of couples from mixed sects. Many of them spoke about problems that they did not expect or ever thought would impact them. We have heard of cases of divorce because differences could not be reconciled and this is very bad,” he said. Such conditions helped Fareed, his wife and their four daughters and one son to adapt easily to the co-existence of several sects in Bahrain. “To us, the richness and diversity were assets, not liabilities.”

“So when the dramatic events in Bahrain unfolded and a terrible fissure appeared in the seams of the society, we did not panic and in fact we felt immune to threats. We were a mixed sect family, but our levels of tolerance and acceptance were so high that we knew that we would not be affected, even though many families around us started to crumble,” he said.

Diversity an asset

Such conditions helped Fareed, his wife and their four daughters and one son to adapt easily to the co-existence of several sects in Bahrain. “To us, the richness and diversity were assets, not liabilities.”

Nevertheless, and due to the sensitivity of the conditions in the country, Fareed gathered the family around him and his wife to stress that sectarianism was the disease that should not afflict them under any name or form.

“One of our daughters who was Sunni and was in love with a young Shiite man went ahead with her plans to marry him and we all supported her in her decision. We did not allow politics to pollute our views and we did not permit extremism to hijack our feelings.”

For Fareed, the landmark of the family success is that they did not lose any of their numerous “lovely friends or compassionate relatives.”