Dubai: On my very first day at school, I learnt one of my biggest life lessons ever. While I was making friends with the other children, some of them claimed that Nahed, the little girl who was sitting next to me, was a thief.
I didn’t, at that early age, understand what a thief was, so they explained it to me: Nahed steals pencils, so be careful — she will steal your pencil.
After the midday break, I returned to my class to find my pencil missing. And as you might have guessed already, I immediately thought of my bench partner. I quickly ran to the teacher and told her that Nahed had stolen my pencil.
The teacher asked me to bring my bag over; then proceeded to empty it to search through my belongings. And guess what was at the bottom of my bag? The missing pencil.
I will never, ever, forget the pain and embarrassment I felt when the teacher admonished, “Never assume or accuse before checking facts.”
Now, when I speak or lecture, I often ask my audience: Do you believe you really make your own decisions? People usually get defensive and say, “Of course!”
Then I ask them how many times they assumed something, drew a conclusion, or even made a decision based on what “they” said? This time, I usually hear nothing but silence.
Let’s think about this together. Some people’s main sources of excitement are negativity, crisis and disasters. You must know these kinds of people, right? They always talk about everything that is wrong, or how horrible things are and will be, and that the end of the world must be really close.
These types of people like to feed on your panic. If you like a bit of drama to spice up your life, or are low on confidence for whatsoever reason, you probably will give them exactly what they want — you will panic about whatever they tell you to.
I have a friend who, based on what “they” said, liquidated all his assets to keep his money at home, because he was too scared of leaving his money in the bank. Of course, he didn’t think about what would happen to his money if his home was robbed!
Now, it’s true that ever since the oil prices have deteriorated, many people have lost jobs, had to relocate or change careers. That is a fact and a reality we must deal with.
Yet, so many people have turned the “they say” theory into a self-fulfilling prophecy by treating their businesses or interacting with their customers with a sense of doubt. They expected failure until it materialised …
The oil and gas prices scenario is a reality, but you must handle it without a sense of panic. Be sure to investigate facts and check to see if the sources of your information have any hidden agendas.
If they do, don’t panic — stop listening to them, just leave. Think for yourself, do your homework, and see if the information you heard is true. If it is true and is supported by enough evidence, then sit down, weigh your options rationally, measure the risk you are willing to take, see the glass as half full, and then act.
If what “they” say turns out to be untrue, then you have saved yourself from feeling that panic, and possibly from bearing the manifestation of failure that, in reality, was not going to happen to you in the first place.
Generalisations, assumptions, listening to all the hearsay, participating in negative, whining discussions — these things not only affect your life and peace of mind, they also take away your own personal power. When you make decisions based on what “they” tell you, then in reality, you have let “them” make decisions for you.
Do yourself a favour. The next time you hear “they say,” stop — then ask the person volunteering to give you that information who “they” are.
Most of the time, you will not get a clear answer. Why? Because “they” don’t really exist.
So do your homework, think for yourself and make your own decisions. That is the best way to get through any tough situation — even a downturn or recession.
The writer is Founder and CEO of HNI Training & Coaching.
