The simple question “Where are you from?” can be quite complex to answer, even highly emotive. I coach many of the second-generation, the sons of the founders of the leading family business.

Where are they from? Often, they were born and raised here, have spent little time in their home country and may even have another passport. What an identity crisis!

For example, I wonder where I would say I was from if I was the son of one of the Top 100 Indian Leaders. Given the deep relationship between India and the UAE, it is likely that I was born here, grew up here and am now working in my father’s business, possibly even the heir apparent.

In that scenario, am I an Indian? Yes! And am I from here? Well, yes. So, what would I say?

India and the GCC are close trade partners with relations going back centuries. Few regions can match this historical connection. A history of shared trade and business mutually benefitted both sides of the sea.

Indian tourists, trade, investments, Indian-owned GCC companies and residents have contributed to the growth of the Gulf and brought about a tremendous economic impact for the region.

The GCC relieves a bit of India’s unemployment pressure by through its 7 million plus expat Indian workforce, who play a very important link between the two and represent a work engine for the GCC at all economic levels.

Given the history and their long-time residency, they are almost like brothers, but they are not brothers. They just happen to live in the same land.

For the Indians in the GCC and all other expats, it can be home away from home but it is not home.

The citizenship quandary is a potent debate with understandable arguments from both perspectives. While it is not exclusive to the Indians, it has exasperated given how long they have lived here - many families coming during the era of colonial influence and staying on – and how deep the investment is.

On one side, there is a clear argument on the side of the GCC countries to be able to protect the land and the cultural fiber of their society. On the other is the argument that your family lives and invests here. This is the only home you’ve ever known, so you want to become a citizen.

For years, I lived in Lebanon, a country that allowed me to live there, invest, work, even raise a family. I could live a life as if I were Lebanese with the only exception being I wasn’t. I needed an iqama (residency permit).

So home was not really home. Then, I was granted citizenship, which gave me a new home that actually made me even more proud and deepened my nationalism.

That is when I realised my focus was on what I could get, when it needed to be on what I could give. Belonging is about giving.

Since the arguments are understandable on both sides, let’s shift the topic of debate to ‘Are you acting like a brother or a guest?’

Just because a home is not a home does not preclude you from acting like a brother. He knows he is in his family forever, so he always acts on behalf of the family.

New York City went through this. Even though the immigrants became citizens, they continued to live as guests in their own little enclaves creating the likes of China Town, Little Italy, etc.

Here in the GCC we have the same issue, while we mix, we also revert back to our home ethos highlighting the lack of integration.

In New York the second generation figured this out. The topic of debate moved from “Where are you from?” to “What are you doing for the city?”

In the GCC it would be what are you doing for the country?

This is the fundamental shift that is needed here and in our corporate hallways. We need to redirect everyone to think beyond what they are getting to have a mindset that gives, for the company and the country.

The likelihood is that you can live here forever even though you don’t have citizenship. So focus on giving to the country. Even if home is not home, make it home!

Credit: The writer is a CEO Coach and business author, including of the ‘10 Tips for Leading in the Middle East’. Contact him at tsw@tommyweir.com