Every week, Gulf News readers are given a platform on our Facebook page to share their views on a topic of debate. This week, they debated whether housewives make better mothers than career women and whether a babysitter are an adequate replacement, a perfect childcare solution, or not a viable solution at all. We received an overwhelming response from our readers, debating why they think this remains a significant issue for mums in the UAE.
No other solution
There is no doubt in the fact that nothing can replace mother’s care, but babysitters are our only choice when the cost of basic things like house rents, school fees, healthcare facilities and medicines is so high, it is impossible to survive comfortably on one person’s salary. The fact is that, most families where both the parents work, the mother choses to work to make sure her child has a good and secure future. I am a mother and I would love to spend more time with my child, but I need to work! A babysitter takes care of my child and that’s the only solution I see in my situation. I feel it is wrong for people to judge a mother who decides to work. I don’t understand why a father who works is looked up to as a great dad but a mother who decides to work and participate in making money for the house, while also concentrating on the home-making aspect is criticized by so many people in the society. It’s not easy to be a mother and a career woman at the same time, a lot of effort goes into it.
Julie Thomas
Dubai
Difficult decision
There is no doubt in the fact that nothing can replace a mother’s care, but babysitters are our only choice when the cost of basic things like house rents, school fees, healthcare facilities and medicines is so high, it is impossible to survive comfortably on one person’s salary. The fact is that, in most families where both parents work, the mother chooses to work to ensure her child has a good and secure future. I am a mother and I would love to spend more time with my child, but I need to work. A babysitter takes care of my child and that’s the only solution I see in my situation. I feel it is wrong for people to judge a mother who decides to work. I don’t understand why a father who works is looked up to as a great dad but a mother who decides to work and participate in making money for the house, while also concentrating on the home-making aspect, is criticised by so many people in the society. It’s not easy to be a mother and a career woman at the same time — a lot of effort goes into it.
From Ms Julie Thomas
Dubai
Remarkable effort
My mother began working once my older sister and I started school. It has been over 23 years and she retired from her high-flying career only a few months ago due to health reasons. I cannot think of a time when I needed her and she wasn’t there. The myth that’s propogated in society is that working women can’t be there a 100 per cent for their children. I strongly disagree. I got to see a lot more of my mother than my father, who also works, and am as close to her as I would have been if she was a homemaker. I believe working women are constantly made to feel guilty for being away from their children, and work twice as hard to ensure their children’s needs are met.
From Ms Amanah Saleh
Sharjah
A role model
It’s not impossible for career woman to be good mothers. That’s where close family ties should come into play. A close relative, like a grandmother, is quite a good option as a babysitter. Career women are able to give quality time to their children since they have more exposure to the world and are often more educated. Most of the time, they use technology to educate their children. They act as a strong, ideal role model for their children, who can face a harsh world with courage. On the other hand, some housewives waste the whole day by watching television.
From Ms Affaf Rathore
Sharjah
Quality time needed
Children need a mother, not a babysitter. A mother should give much quality time to her children. If working is a requirement, then she should manage her timings and her children.
From Ms Sab N.Z.
Muscat Oman
Takes better care
Only a mother staying at home can take care of her child in a better way than a mother who stays out until the evening due to work and leaves her child with the nanny.
From Ms Uzma N. Khan
Dubai
Family support
I am a student and I can’t ignore my studies. I’m in my final year and I spend the whole day away from my baby. I return in the evening to my mother-in-law, who has been taking great care of him. Apart from the time spent away because of my education, I dedicate all my free time to him. I don’t feel any less than any homemaker. I take great care of him, read articles on parenting in my free time and discuss his daily activities with his grandmother. I have seen so many mums who are ignorant about basic issues and think I am much better, but of course every mother wants the best for her children. So, no one can be less or more.
From Ms Pankhuri Singh
New Delhi, India
No alternative
Of course, housewives are the best in every manner. No one can care for the child like the mother does. There is no alternative for a mother.
From Mr Omar Ghori
Umm al Quwain
First priority
A housewife is always the best kind of mother, because her first priority is her family and children. When the child is growing up, in every stage, they need love, affection, discipline and emotional support. If the mother is staying at home, she can spend more time with her children. She can raise her children within her own culture and traditions. Babysitters are fine for taking care of children, but they can’t be expected to raise one’s child.
From Ms Archana Sen
UAE
Balance
It’s not easy for a working and independent woman to leave everything when she becomes a mother. The best option is to balance this time in the right way and perhaps stay at home until they at least become old enough to understand and handle life with help from the nanny. Then, slowly, the mother can drift off to work and make her children independent, while she is with them. They need their time with their mum, but some mothers have no choice and we should not judge.
From Ms Sangeeta Birla
Dubai
It is possible
Of course being a homemaker is preferable. It doesn’t mean that working women can’t do it though. If family members are able to help and cooperate, then there can be time for a job for the mother.
From Ms Sailajaramani Manda
UAE
A struggle
Children need their mothers, especially as they are growing up. The love, care and attention that children need in life can only be provided by a mother and not by babysitters or nannies that do their job out of compulsion to earn a living and not out of love and genuine emotions. I have read reports about some babysitters ill-treating young children in the absence of their parents. No matter how independent women have become, a mother’s first priority has always been her home and family. While it would be unfair to say that working women do not make good mothers, it is generally observed that career-oriented women struggle to maintain a balance between their professional and personal life. On the other hand, a woman who is a full-time homemaker can look after her children in a much better way without having to juggle her duties. It is also a fact that while women have been long known for their multitasking abilities, in the situation where she has to juggle her family and job, one thing usually suffers.
From Ms Fatima Suhail
UAE
Inspirational
My mom is a career woman and I’m proud of her. She is also a role model for me. Being a career woman doesn’t mean giving up parenting or family. It simply means there is more to offer and to inspire their children.
From Ms Mulan Yao
UAE
Time management
All the mothers are doing their duty in their own way. They just have to manage their time. Working mothers also have more pressure than homemakers.
From Ms Amudha Senthil
Dubai
Cherish childhood
I feel when the mother is at home, it is definitely better. When children come home from school, they have so many stories to narrate. That is the best time for interaction between mother and child. Mothers understand what is happening on a day-to-day basis, and are there to supervise their studies, eating habits and everything else. I’m not taking away any credit from working mothers, but I feel if there is no monetary need, then mothers should be cherishing the childhood of their children until they are independent at 18 years old or so. Then mothers would be free to nurture their desires or pursue careers.
From Ms Neha Dadlani
UAE
Money vs. children
Nothing or no one can ever match a mother’s care. It’s a choice between money and children. Choose the right one, and remember that your children choose your retirement home!
From Mr Sanjeewa Marasinghe
UAE
Providing for my child
Based on my experiences, I prefer to work and become a career woman and let babysitters take on some of my responsibilities because it makes my heart melt seeing my child looking to his playmates, thinking: ‘Why don’t I have the things that other children have?’ I’m preparing for his future and making him understand that he is the reason why I’m working.
From Ms Jogie Briones
UAE
Love can’t compare
A career woman can’t be a good mother. Motherhood comes with a special bond and a mother’s love can’t compare with a career. A babysitter is not the perfect solution, but that’s the only solution sometimes, when the cost of living is going up. Both mothers and fathers must have a job to make ends meet nowadays.
From Mr Anushka Eranga
Dubai
Need to be devoted
I believe a woman who is fully devoted to her home is a better mother, a better wife and a better pillar of the home. This is regardless of what women have to say – it’s the reality!
From Mr Abdul Wahab
Dubai
Irreplaceable bond
A mother’s care is essential for children, because only a mother can give special affection, love and care to her children. They can do this better than any babysitter or any other person. This is a big no. A mother can replace everyone but no one can replace a mother’s bond with their child from the very first day she feels the movement of the child inside her.
From Muneeb Aslam
Punjab, Pakistan
Make it easier
Employers should have reasonable babysitting programs for working women so that they will be able to give their best at work.
From Mr Shah Jahan Shahid
UAE
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