Church of England to overhaul weddings

London: The Church of England has set out radical plans to transform the way in which it conducts weddings. A package of reforms will modernise the marriage service, offering couples the chance to replace traditional aspects with personalised touches.

It will give the go-ahead for glitzy “Posh and Becks”-style ceremonies in churches, with Mendelssohn’s Wedding March being replaced by songs such as Girls by the Sugababes or the theme from Test Match Special.

Unusual twists will be welcomed, such as the use of trained owls to carry the rings to the best man. The reforms follow a four-year review by senior clerics, which concluded that more couples would marry in church and continue as regular churchgoers if they were offered more control over their big day.

The review, called The Weddings Project, was ordered to reverse a decline in the number of church marriages, with fewer than one in four weddings now taking place on Church of England premises. Findings of the review have been set out in a new book that offers guidance to vicars. The conclusions are endorsed by the Archbishop of York,

Dr John Sentamu, who, in a foreword, describes the changes as “dynamite”. He says that vicars have become “overfamiliar” with weddings and have “lost touch” with how daunting a traditional ceremony can seem to couples.

Under Church rules, vicars have wide-ranging powers to decide how weddings should be conducted. While some have been prepared to experiment, many have until now taken a traditional approach and been reluctant to allow couples to innovate. The Rt Rev Mark Bryant, the Bishop of Jarrow, says in the book that he would be “unfazed” by the trappings of “Posh and Becks”-style ceremonies, referring to the 1999 marriage of David and Victoria Beckham. The footballer and the singer sat in golden thrones as they were married, with magazine photographers in attendance.

Wedding photographers have traditionally been excluded during the service, but Bishop Bryant argues that they should be welcomed. He says: “I’ve worked with couples over the years for whom life has been quite difficult, and their wedding is one day of their lives when they will have people photographing them. “They’ll be like Posh and Becks for just one day. And I think God can cope with that. And if God can cope with that, it’s probably up to me to try to cope with it as well.” Vicars are also told to allow ceremonies to be filmed, as a video of the vows being exchanged can be watched together later by couples and may help to “protect their marriage for the long haul”.

Some vicars interviewed for the project complained that photographers can undermine church weddings by moving around too much and getting too close to the bride and groom. The book, written by Gillian Oliver, who led the review, cites extravagant ceremonies including brides riding into church on horseback. It warns that while these quirks “bring some vicars out in a cold sweat”, married couples are more likely to become churchgoers if they have been allowed to personalise their ceremony.

“If a couple feels that it’s their wedding, they are more likely to feel it’s their church,” states The Church Weddings Handbook. “And if they feel it’s their church, they are more likely to keep coming back.”

The Ven John Barton, a member of the Weddings Project panel, said he had recently conducted a ceremony at which the BBC’s Test Match Special theme tune was played. Arguing that songs such as Girls — which includes the well-known Here Come the Girls line — should be permitted if requested, Barton said: “The thing people fear is that the Church would be invaded by some secular culture which would take away from the Christian character of the building. That is nonsense. God does not only listen to Radio 3.”

The review involved a survey of 822 brides and grooms and 176 clergy in two dioceses. Currently only 22 per cent of British couples opt for Church of England weddings. The clerics involved in the Weddings Project believe the reforms could double the number of couples choosing to marry in church. The book argues that some couples may be put off because they feel “unworthy” of a church wedding or believe they would be hypocritical to have one.

“This is a wake-up call,” Dr Sentamu writes in the foreword. “People want to be married in church. They may be tongue-tied, especially the men, when it comes to saying why, but beneath their search for ‘the right venue’ and whatever they may say about wanting a ‘proper’ wedding, there is a recognition that there is something important in a wedding that only begins to make sense when there is space for the sacred.”

However, some clergy are unhappy at the break with tradition. Canon Simon Cox, a rector and member of General Synod from the Blackburn diocese, said: “If we are just a service providing novelty weddings, I can’t see too many of the clergy thinking that’s what they were called to. If they had wanted to go into the entertainment industry they would all have signed up to be clowns.”

PERSONALISE THE PROCEEDINGS

Allow couples to customise or personalise their big day to reflect aspects of their own lives, such as hobbies and pets. Among the examples that vicars are being urged to welcome are biker weddings, where motorcycle enthusiasts, often clad in leather, are transported to church on vintage bikes. Vicars should even be encouraged to officiate over underwater weddings, where the bride and groom exchange vows in a pool. In such ceremonies, couples have worn traditional formal dress over diving suits with oxygen masks, while clergy have used special microphones so the couple’s vows can be clearly heard. Another new trend, endorsed by the guidance, involves the use of a trained owl to swoop down the aisle with the rings in its talons, which it delivers to the best man. In another wedding, cited favourably by the new book, a bride rode to the church on her favourite horse and it remained inside during the ceremony. Even particularly ostentatious weddings, such as David and Victoria Beckham’s 1999 marriage at Luttrellstown Castle in Ireland, during which they sat on golden thrones, should not be ruled out. Vicars should also consider allowing a couple’s children to walk down the aisle with them, or include existing children by incorporating a baptism or thanksgiving for a birth.

MODERNISE MUSIC CHOICE

Vicars should give couples greater freedom in their choice of music, allowing pop songs, such as Here Come the Girls, by the Sugababes, Cosmic Love, by Florence and the Machine, or the theme from BBC Radio 4’s Test Match Special. Couples should be told that classical choices are not “more Christian” than other songs and that “God does not only listen to Radio Three”. The panel overseeing the Wedding Project is also considering allowing couples to choose entry and exit music online, although there was concern that organists might struggle to play more complicated arrangements that couples might suggest. Churches should review contracts with musicians and organists to ensure couples are not overcharged.

PHOTOGRAPHY FREE-FOR-ALL

Let professional photographers have a much freer rein around the building. Speak to them before the ceremony to avoid possible altercations. Filming of weddings should be encouraged because couples can watch it together later, helping to “protect their marriage for the long haul”. Vicars should stop telling people not to do things. The congregation may be asked to turn mobile phones off at the start of the ceremony, but vicars can set a more positive tone, by reminding them to turn them on again at the end.

FUNNIER AND FRIENDLIER VICARS

When couples first visit to discuss the plans, vicars should meet them somewhere informal, such as the vicarage kitchen, sitting down in a study can be intimidating. Vicars should invite the couple to use their first name, and show they remember personal details. They should also say they “love doing weddings” and think about their posture - sitting forward in the chair communicates interest. Clerics should describe themselves as vicars, even if they are rectors, canons or even retired bishops, and should wear a dog collar. In marketing terms, vicars should consider themselves the Church’s “unique selling point” and should speak to couples as early as possible, to ensure they are not left dealing with churchwardens. On the big day, vicars should refresh their selection of wedding jokes. Their sermons should include humour that reveals knowledge of the couple.

REFRESH RULES AND RITUALS

Couples are routinely asked to attend marriage preparation lessons, but as many already live together, and sometimes have children, this is considered excessive. The lessons should be replaced with a single two-hour session to explain the ceremony. To make sure the couple do not see the centuries-old custom of the reading of banns as an unnecessary medieval throwback, they should be invited to hear them. One church is commended for its practice of projecting a photograph of the couple on to a big screen when their banns are read out. Vicars are asked to think twice about passing a collection plate around at the wedding. Six out of 10 couples surveyed felt uncomfortable when their family and friends were asked to donate.

AFTERCARE

Vicars should sustain contact with the bride and groom after the ceremony by sending a congratulatory card. An online system allows them to ask the bride and groom for anonymous feedback.