Curbs make intelligible texting a huge task

Dubai: It's barely legal to be drunk.

Or in Pakistan, let that sentence read: It's [delete] [delete] to be [delete].

Huh?

Confused? Yep. And not because you're a [delete] [delete] either. It's because from today, these words cannot be SMSed anywhere in Pakistan legally.

So if you're texted to deposit the pizza at the back door, sorry, I meant, [delete] the pizza at the [delete] [delete], it's wrong.

And you can't be texted to turn on your head lights either, because [delete] [delete] on cars are illegal.

According to a directive issued last week by Pakistan's Telecommunication Authority, nearly 1,700 words and phrases are banned and must be deleted from texts by mobile phone operators there.

It's enough to make a person commit murder. Oops, sorry, commit [delete]. Nor can you molest ­ oops, err… [delete] the regulators for their decision.

And even if you suffered from athlete's foot — [delete] [delete] — you'd be in trouble. According to various laws favouring restriction on freedom of speech, the telecom regulator believes it has the authority to ban the words and phrases.

When contacted yesterday, there was no [delete] working at the regulator to answer the [delete] phones.

"[delete] [delete]," a spokesman said for the Pakistan consulate in Dubai yesterday.

The order on the [delete] was issued on last Monday and phone companies have until today to find ways to [delete] the [delete] words.

Indecent language

Among the 1,109 listed English words are ‘damn', ‘deposit' and ‘flatulence' and phrases including ‘back door', ‘head lights' and ‘Jesus Christ'.

In all, nearly 1,700 words in Urdu, English, Punjabi and other local languages are on the list to be deleted.

The Telecommunication Authority hasn't said how or what penalties will be imposed if the companies fail to meet the new SMS rules.

Maybe they'll [delete] their [delete].

The list includes the words "quickie" and "fairy". "There are more than 1,600 words in the list including indecent language, expletives, swear words, slang etc, which have to be filtered," an official at a telecoms firm told AFP, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorised to speak to the media.

The letter from the regulator accompanying the list says networks must also submit monthly reports on implementation of the ban. It is the first time the country has sought to censor text messages.

Campaign group Bytes for All said yesterday it would challenge the ban in court, saying it violated rights to free speech and privacy.