The online connection

When it comes to choosing a partner, the Indian community has always favoured a prudent approach. Arranged marriages – where the bride and groom have been selected for each other, after a careful vetting process – are held in high regard among Indians, both at home and abroad.

According to Nithin Shetty of matrisearch.com, the ongoing popularity of the tradition in contemporary Indian society can be linked to the belief in sound logic. "Arranged marriages ensure compatibility on several factors such as religion, caste and horoscope," says Shetty.

"Despite their importance, these factors are not always considered in a love match."
Murugavel Janakiraman is the founder and CEO of BharatMatrimony.com – the company that, according to Limca Book of Records, holds the record for the number of documented marriages online. He believes by venturing into a marriage that has been arranged, there is potentially a greater level of family support available for the new couple.

"In an arranged marriage, both families must be in complete agreement," he says. "This family approval ensures the couple can count on the blessings and support of the entire family after the wedding."

Popular for a reason

As people move away from their home towns for better educational and job opportunities, the strong social network once used to secure a partner diminishes. Having limited contact with their extended family, prospective brides and grooms have been forced to explore new avenues.

It is no surprise, therefore, that internet matrimony sites are becoming an increasingly popular tool in the search for a suitable partner.
"With the kind of lifestyles that people are leading these days, finding the right life partner can be a tough challenge," says Vibhas Mehta, business head of Shaadi.com, a company founded in 1997 that has made more than eight million matches to date. "With the internet able to remove the geographical limitations that traditional matchmaking suffers from, there has been a rise in online matrimony in the last decade," he adds.

The existence of internet matrimony sites is particularly fortunate for non-resident Indians (NRIs), who would have limited contact with their communities otherwise. "Shaadi.com was started keeping in mind the large South East Asian community that had emigrated to the US, Canada, the UK, Australia and the Middle East," says Mehta.
"NRIs now form almost 30 per cent of our user base."
"About 45 per cent of our users are NRIs," says Shetty. "We have approximately 20,000 users from the UAE alone."
Another huge advantage of matrimony sites, says Shetty, is they offer a greater variety of choice.

"Prior to the internet, most arranged marriages happened through word of mouth or marriage bureaus. This resulted in the bride or groom having to compromise on some of the desired qualities," he says. "But the internet has revolutionised the matrimonial search. The arranged marriage concept has got more search power giving a wider reach.

This not only saves people a lot of time but also helps them in looking for partners who perfectly match their requirements." Mehta agrees. "A profile can be more detailed on the internet and can have multiple photos and even a video profile," he says.

"You can base your search on multiple criteria and contact other users using messaging or chat features." Murugavel believes the increasing presence of new technologies such as live video chat, video and audio profile enhancements, simulates real-life interaction for users. "We hold virtual matrimony meets on a regular basis for several Indian communities," he says.

"This is similar to an online chat room, except it is open at pre-set times and only to people from a common caste."

Family matters

With many people to choose from, arranged marriages could be an uncomfortable ordeal for prospective brides and grooms. Murugavel says the discretion of matrimony sites by-passes this. "Often girls are paraded before grooms and their families," he says. "This does not happen with the internet and therefore the embarrassment of rejection is avoided. It is also possible to discuss delicate matters privately." In traditional arranged marriages, parents play a decisive role. Although matrimonial sites may encourage young Indians to search for their life partner themselves, parents are still heavily involved in the whole process.

"While 70 per cent of the profiles on Shaadi.com are posted by the members themselves, we still have a large number of profiles that are posted by parents," says Mehta. "Parents will monitor the proposals that are received online and it is usually their telephone numbers that are given as contact details on the site," says Murugavel.
Crucial to the success of any arranged marriage is how well-suited the bride and groom are.

"The backbone of an arranged marriage is about finding a partner from the same community," says Murugavel. "The internet has greatly helped families in this process by creating a platform where people from the same social community throughout the world can congregate and begin the search for a suitable match."