Spare the rod but discipline the child with value education

Dubai/Fujairah/Abu Dhabi: A firm hand or a compassionate heart - what option should a parent use to discipline their child?

Disciplining a child is not an easy task, as each child has their own personality and not all methods of discipline are suitable for all.

Some may say that children spend most of their time in school and that the task of instilling values is the responsibility of teachers. Or should discipline and values start with the family?

City Talk took to the streets and asked residents whether there is a lack of discipline among pupils, should there be tighter parental control at home, and what can be done to instil more discipline among the pupils.

Mosabeh Mohammad Elaian, 38, an Emirati Education Ministry official, said: "Overall, I don't think there is a huge discipline issue in our schools. Of course there are exceptional cases in every society.

"I think teachers are, to a large extent, responsible for earning the respect of the students through the way he or she conducts themselves and communicates with the students.

"Children are now more streetwise and open to new technology. So they question more and that perhaps needs a fresh approach from educationists.

"There are new elements which have seeped into our culture with broken homes and the new technology ... and [the] educationists need to learn how to communicate and reach out to today's students and not just follow the old techniques."

Hussain Jaher, 27, an Indian office boy, said: "There is discipline among schoolchildren because the schools are doing a good job on teaching them proper values and manners.

"Parents also have an important role in a child's education but I think that teachers are more important. To make a child understand what he is doing is wrong, you should explain the reasons to them and make them understand."

Yasmin Ahmad, 30, an Egyptian homemaker, said: "I think some of the schools here are very strict. My daughter, who is in a kindergarten, is afraid of her teachers and so listens to them. I don't think there is a lack of discipline.

"I am against children being very strictly dealt with because after all children should be allowed to express themselves. Teachers and parents must find creative ways to channel their energy."

Teresita Perico, 38, a Filipina lease administrator, said: "Discipline and values should start with the family. Schools would then be the secondary place to learn values. Schools can help instil more discipline by teaching pupils about values and religion."

Mohammad Sabri Esmail, 30, a pharmacist from Egypt, said: "The personality of the teacher must be strong but not overbearing and the relationship with his or her pupils should be built on mutual respect and not just rank. Pupils, as well, should always respect elders and there is no excuse for their misbehavior and instilling such values should be, primarily, the [duty] of the family.

"Teenagers nowadays are having a confusing time with so much distracting and negative influences from media and new technology. So, communication with students should be more purposeful, so as to defuse misunderstanding and mistrust."

Gay Marie Jumuad, 37, a professional infection control officer from the Philippines, said: "Everything starts at home, so parents play the most important role in instilling discipline in a child's life, also the teachers.

"Though how receptive the child is to discipline differs, the environment at school and home helps nurture qualities.

"At school I believe that punishment is not always the answer neither is tighter parental control. Understanding of their problems is what is necessary."

Sumit Kumar, a Indian regional sales manager, 25, said: "Not all children are disciplined these days. It should be the responsibility of schools and not the parents because teachers play a vital role in your children's education.

"It will help if schools held special classes that taught children values, and that should be done in a way that is fun and educational."

Amal Al Naqeeb, 29, a Jordanian homemaker, said: "I don't just send my son to school to study, I want him to develop a good character and be a good person. Schools are very important on disciplining issues. So I had to change my son's school a couple of times before I got it right."