Work-related queries answered

Q: My boss keeps throwing things at me whenever he is angry, which happens a lot. It started with light weight office stationary items such as pencils and paper clips. Lately he started throwing heavier items. Last week he threw a black stapler at me which hit my forehead and required stitching and medical treatment. What shall I do?

Sent by: Confused in Dubai.

A: Let's put things in perspective here so we don't jump into conclusions. First, if you were paying attention at work you would have seen that stapler heading towards you and you could have easily ducked away from it. Second, you did not include all the facts in your letter, mainly whether your office colleagues are also having stuff thrown at them by your boss. If that is the case; your boss is an equal opportunity thrower - meaning there is no discrimination involved and you have nothing to complain about. Instead, you should act as a real team player and get along with the flow. If you were singled out, assuming you can prove it, we need to examine the reasons that compelled your boss to escalate his throwing choices from paper clips to staplers. Third, being a boss is very demanding and tough. Your boss has pressures from above. He carries a bigger corporate responsibility, unlike what you seem to carry (evidenced by the fact that you are not a boss). Look at the big picture and try to find out why your boss feels the need to throw things at you. What is the message that he is trying to convey to you? And how is it related to your performance or attitude or both? Try to put more effort. Show up in the office during the weekend. Ask for more responsibility. Get along with your boss. Suggest doing extra activities, like washing his car occasionally when he is too busy. Maintain a positive attitude and keep smiling. Eventually your boss will appreciate you and he will end up throwing a bonus towards you instead of a stapler.

Q: I graduated recently in Business with honours and I excelled in all my marketing classes. I am seeking a position in marketing in a big, foreign firm. I have one question related to a term I keep hearing, what is the meaning of P&L?

Sent by: Alpha Gama Sigma in Dubai.

A: P&L is one of those elusive concepts often heard and thrown around casually in every office, conference or corporate corridor. P&L can mean different things depending on where you stand, sit or hang, in the ladder of corporate world.

What follows is a helpful reference list intended to explain the different meanings of P&L:

If you are permanently labouring within lower to middle management levels, it means Pressure and Long hours.

If you are a secretary who has gone through multiple cosmetic surgery operations, it means Pluck and Lift.

If you are always hungry in the work place, it means Pizza and Linguini.

If you are an aspiring, sneaky back-stabber, it means Please and Lick.

If you are a conniving, scheming social climber, it means Plot and Lure.

If you are an obsessive, demanding and controlling freak, it means Push and Lean.

If you are a moody, emotionally unstable gossiper, it means Pick and Loathe.

If you are a fashion driven, style-crazy shop-a-holic, it means Prada and Levi's.

If you are a heart-bleeding, tree-hugging, new-age-music-loving liberal, it means Peace and Love.

If you are a party in a romantic couple, it means Peter and Lara.

If you are an embezzler plotting to break codes and steal from the company, it means Prison and Languishing.

If you are a CEO, it means Play and Laughter.

Occasionally, it can mean Profit and Loss. But that's quite rare.

Q: I've been working like a dog for the past five years; putting 12 hours a day, showing up on weekends, answering phone calls from my boss at night, and I am doing it at the expense of my personal life. Everything is going up except my salary. And every time I bring this up with my boss he ignores me. What shall I do?

Sent by: Desperate in Dubai

A: Act as a team player, maintain a positive attitude and keep smiling.

Ahmad Zahzah is a media consultant based in the UAE.