To beat or not to beat

Since the first baby in human history left his, or her, mother's lap and started crawling on the floor intending to mess around with dad's stone-knife, ink-bottle or mobile phone, man has been struggling with the urge to beat children in the course of straightening their unpredictable behaviour.

For a very long time parents had complete control over their children's destinies - as they alone decided what's best for them in all aspects of life, including the need for an occasional proper beating or a continuous spanking party.

Educators played along happily and were often harsher than parents when it came to hitting children across the board.

In Lebanon where I grew up I felt luckier than my younger brother who was sent to a French school, where he was subjected regularly to various types of inventive beatings, all in the name of strict education, character building and positive reinforcement!

French schools were notorious for colourful beatings back then, unlike the American schools I went to, which advocated tolerance, openness and easygoing attitudes.

It is no wonder then where the Marquis de Sade, who happens to be French, got the proper base that helped him explore the dark side of humanity later on.

Note that my brother and I grew up way before Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo, where the Marquis de Sade was made to look more like a twisted Donald-Duck-on-Red-Bull in comparison!

The problem throughout history, in my view, is that all children are by definition rebellious. You see, you can't be brought to this world and asked to obey its rules from day one without questioning, doubting or challenging them.

That's precisely what we ask children to do and they resent it from the moment we pull them outside the warm and comfy womb! That's why they come out crying!

Things were going fine and dandy for ages for the grownups; you beat whenever you feel like it, all for a good cause.

The journey of fun had to be interrupted, at some point, by scientific research and modern educational theories that dissect the severe psychological damage caused by beating, or any other form of abuse. So, beating was highly discouraged and was replaced by something more civilised, less damaging, more in line with our current values: something called "counselling".

Tables were turned upside down big time. In what seems to be a genius payback time for all those horrendous beatings; parents are obliged now to bow and "talk" to their children.

All those children who were mercilessly beaten throughout history have gathered their forces somewhere above the clouds, aligned themselves with scientists and brainwashed modern educators, human-development consultants, early-intervention (which sounds very military to my ears) specialists to sing all in unison against even "touching" the child - even if he or she pours boiling coffee on your brand new laptop, repeatedly!

Thanks to modern theories, the world is now filled with millions of little Marquises de Sade, roaming malls and playgrounds, throwing tantrums anytime, anywhere, with or without provocation, and all parents can do is patiently engage in a pointless "dialogue" with them.

Lest I am accused of being a child-basher, allow me to declare that I love children; mine - not others'!

I do love other people's children - especially when they cry for them and someone takes them away!

I am not also very fond of parents, mind you - even though I happen to be one of them; I think parents acted as grumpy-permanent-party-poopers for too many children and they simply deserve whatever hits them these days.

You see, it is definitely wrong, hurtful and abusive to beat a child - period. But to go to the other extreme and deprive parents of any disciplinary choice in the name of modern education is also wrong, hurtful and abusive!

Children will continue to misbehave, that's part of their nature.

Similarly, parents will continue to suppress the irresistible urge to slap a nagging brat - which is sometimes the best way to end a "conversation" with a five-year-old!

Ahmad Zahzah is a media consultant based in the UAE.