Irrepressible cabbies

I and my wife were in a taxi, anxious to reach airport in time to receive a friend coming from abroad for the first time.

As his flight was to land at about 3am we expected him to come out around 4am. The airport being far away, we left home at 3am which meant waking up at about 2am.

As both of us remained busy till about midnight preparing for a comfortable stay of our valued friend, we were too tired. We were in bed for hardly an hour or so when alarms on our two mobile phones jolted us out.

Sleep and the thought of travelling at that unearthly hour were weighing heavily on our mind and eyes. Much to the discomfiture of many people, most international flights arrive in Delhi or depart during those ghostly hours.

We were more stressed as our cabbie did not come on time. I had to ring up the taxi stand to wake him up. Evidently, the fellow was no less sleepy. He claimed he was about to leave but his voice showed he had been fast asleep.

Finally, we left for the airport. Being tired, we were dozing off which the driver must have noticed through the rear view mirror. Suddenly, he asked us if this time the winter was setting in earlier. I opened my eyes, looked out of the window and replied feebly, "Perhaps." I closed my eyes again.

He shot another query, "Sir-ji, does this airport not look much better now?" Much to my annoyance, I replied, "Yes."

Once again, I closed my eyes only to be opened by his yet another question, "Which place your guest is coming from?" I lost my cool. I blurted out, "Why the hell are you asking stupid questions and disturbing us? We are feeling sleepy, you know?"

"So am I Sir-ji. If I don't engage you in conversation, I might fall asleep and …" I stopped him half way. His words dropped on my ears like a hand grenade and we could all perish if I did not talk. My sleep vanished. My eyes at 3am were as wide open as they are at 3pm. I suddenly sat erect and made my wife follow suit.

Innocent in police custody

"Yes, I would talk as you want me to," I told him like an innocent in police custody who starts "singing" after Indian style of police "interrogation".

"Sir-ji, who is this Bama-ji coming here?"

"Not Bama. He is Obama, president of Amreeka," I told him in his own style.

"I hear he is very rich and gives lot of money to everybody. Is that true?"

I was feeling suffocated and helpless. I had never dreamt that some day during my long years in journalism, I would be on the other side, being interviewed by an illiterate private taximan! "Shame on me", I mumbled to myself.

But discretion being better part of valour I decided I must respond fully or else the cabbie's dozing might prove disastrous.

Picking up the thread from where he had left, I continued, "Yes, Bama-ji distributes money"

"Sir-ji. I want to have my own taxi, another for my son. I hate working under a foul-mouthed person. You seem to be an influential person. Can you help me get money for two taxis from Bama-ji?"

I was speechless, not knowing how to respond. But since I wanted to reach the airport as one piece, I decided to make a promise on behalf of Bama-ji. After all, in politics Bama-jis everywhere do not always honour their words.

As we were nearing the airport, I told him, "Yes, I will certainly use my influence over Bama-ji to get you the required funds. But first, you drop us back home safely. And next week you drop at my place your application for Bama-ji".

Thank God, he did not show up with any application even after 15 days.

Lalit Raizada is a journalist based in India.