Friendships that know no boundaries

In the days of snail mail, there was a phenomenon known as penfriends. One established cross-border friendships and, in the process, learnt a lot about different cultures through descriptive pieces, photographs and colourful stamps.

I have had several over the years and, unusually, have continued to keep in touch with one for decades.

I don’t know if the initial attraction lay in receiving beautiful stamps to add to one’s collection or the thought of befriending a complete stranger.

I remember an older sister getting an Australian penpal who later discovered she was a girl and was terribly disappointed. He had no idea of her gender from her name. He must have communicated this to his parents and, eventually, after a long silence, his aunt and uncle wrote to my sister about his feeling awkward writing to a girl since he wanted a male friend from India. Somehow, the aunt and uncle began a correspondence, which lasted for years. Pictures of their sheep station in the outback were sent to my sibling and it was an interesting experience learning about rural life Down Under.

I have had penfriends in Romania, United Kingdom, Hawaii and Germany, among other places. Some of these friendships lasted for years, but were unable to withstand the test of time and my father’s frequent transfers and changes of addresses.

My German friend and I seem to have struck the right chord, however, as is evident from the longevity of the relationship. Our friendship started during our school days and I remember his mentioning that he was the only son. I learnt he had an older sister and lived with his mother and someone called Bill. I was immediately struck by the fact that he called his father by his first name. I came to know over the course of time that Bill just lived in his house and was like a father-figure.

I eventually visited my friend on my first trip to Europe and, luckily for both of us, we hit it off immediately. More importantly, I got on well with his girlfriend. Like me, he was interested in teaching and that is the profession we both picked initially.

Next, he visited me in India and all I was worried about was how he would adjust to Indian food. I had seen him take out a ‘curry’ in his home when I visited. It was made by his doting mother, but I had never seen a curry that colour. It was grey! However, I am happy to say that he and his partner survived the experience.

On another holiday in Europe, the two came down to London for a day just to meet me. We met again a few years later on my second trip to Germany at their insistence. It was Christmas time and the scenery all around was picture-postcard perfect. They joined me in Spain a few days later and we travelled to Portugal along with my family.

So, we have a long shared history. He has met all my family and knows each one by name. In fact, one sister in particular was nicknamed “the funny one” by him because when we were much younger, she always had a quip ready and I relayed these to him.

The two of us have made a sizeable contribution to the postal systems of our two countries with decades of letter-writing. In the process, we have forged a true friendship.

They will be visiting me soon for the second time in the UAE and this time I am prepared. On their last visit, they came armed with a formidable knowledge of this country and knew exactly what needed to be seen.

Fortunately for me, the place has grown so much since that this time round, I will be able to show them things they have not heard of. At least I am hoping so.