Ageing is a state of mind

“Tell me, brother, when does a person become old?” Kumar, who was a much junior co-professional of mine, asked me suddenly when we were gossiping over coffee. Moments ago, he was in a pensive mood. When he shot the question, it looked as if he had suddenly woken up from deep slumber.

I kept mum. Instead of engaging him in a discussion over his philosophical query, I wanted to know what led him to ask that. The “young man”, as I kept addressing him thereafter, had come for a brief stay with us.

Kumar’s field of activity was sports. We had known him as a fitness freak. Endowed with a tall, strong frame and handsome looks, he was an object of envy for many. In his younger days, there were hardly any gyms. A few that existed were not equipped with the latest gadgets as, we find them today, so he religiously did physical exercises the traditional way — essentially with an eye on enhancing his God-gifted personality.

He would often flex his biceps not to intimidate anybody, but to earn a word of appreciation from onlookers. Kumar also used to be rather proud of the dense, black curly hair on his scalp.

When I saw him after so many years, I found he was a totally transformed man. Ageing had cast its stamp on him. The dark black hair had become silver grey — as if every strand had been bleached.

The biceps were gone. I found that the black-to-grey transition had altered his image and was causing him anguish. Having built his personality assiduously, he always tried to demonstrate that he was still muscular, buoyant and ‘quite young’.

The problem with the fellow was that he was so blinded by his obsession with his personality that he failed to realise that one day he would also grow old. According to the laws of nature, everything in this world changes.

Some wisecrack has said: “We all want to grow old and we all want to deny that we have arrived there.” Kumar, however, had his own thinking. He resented being reminded even obliquely of ageing. But not everybody was aware of Kumar’s strong views on the issue.

Some well-intentioned person would suggest him to go for some good hair dye. But he would scoff at the idea saying: “No. I am a firm believer in nature and natural methods.”

Turning to Kumar’s query, I told him that there was no cutoff line when old age sets in. “Old” is just a state of one’s mind. You can feel young or old on any given day of your choice. I have come across 35-40-year-olds who declare their inability to take up some new scheme or project saying: “Arrey yar, ab toh main buddha ho gaya.” (Buddy, I have now become too old for such new ventures.)

On the other hand, many septuagenarians are capable of executing hard tasks better than younger men. Such a phenomenon has become possible due to better nutritional levels and living standards that have led to longevity.

Decades back, during a trip to a sea beach, I remember having met an aged well-built gentleman (he must have been about 75), enjoying a bath while me and my friends shuddered to go deep into the water. He repeatedly beckoned us to join him, but we could not muster enough courage.

He continued to display his agility and “youth-like” exuberance to demonstrate that there is no such thing as “old” — if you so decide.

Yes, this healthy attitude is very much exemplified by one of my maternal uncles who, touchwood, keeps fit and fine at about 90. His recipe? He gave it in four words — “Do roti, do boti” (have good food, but not in excess).

Lalit Raizada is a journalist based in India.