A sense of closure

A divorce fair opened its doors recently in Vienna, Austria. Aptly titled New Beginning, the event helps people deal with the intricacies of untying the knot. Our life experiences teach us how easy it is to get into something but how difficult to get out of certain situations.

A simple analogy will make us appreciate the knotty problem of undoing something. Have you ever worn something which you had to to tie with a knot? It could be a pair of pyjamas or shoes with laces. Sometimes, in our enthusiasm, we might tie the knot so tight without a thought of later when it will have to be undone.

So, we loop and inter-loop or pull too hard and the damage is done. When the time comes to get rid of the item of clothing or footwear, we are stymied by the cord or lace refusing to unravel itself.

As our frustration grows, so does our impatience. Yanking and pulling in desperation, all we succeed in doing is making matters worse. An apt metaphor for life.

Eventually, we admit defeat and either we shout for help or make a clean break. This is an "aha" moment when we decide to cut the cord or lace. This is also when we decide to switch to elasticised waistbands or slip-on shoes.

Coming back to the divorce fair, it apparently has stalls dispensing a range of services. There are dating agencies to advise on how to take the plunge again without getting out of one's depth.

Of course, to the dispassionate observer, a visit to one of these might just be indicative of suicidal tendencies. I mean if you've just got out of an unhealthy relationship why on earth would you want to repeat the mistake. We're supposed to learn from the past, not re-experience it.

Then there's the paternity testing firm that helps identify the true parents of offspring. Think Anna Nicole Smith and everything becomes crystal clear.

Never has a baby such as hers had so many seeking to establish paternity. Of course, she's too young yet to appreciate the compliment in such gestures. But when she's old enough to understand, the disclosure will probably help inflate her ego.

Celebrating the split

The party organiser gives tips on celebrating the split. I remember a sibling's friend whose mother threw a party when an acrimonious separation from her husband was finally legalised.

My mother was a spoilsport and refused to let my sister attend the event. In her eyes, this was no joyous occasion and a very bad example to set for youngsters.

Simply put, this was not something one gloated over. If she were alive today and read the article on the fair, she would have no qualms about voicing her opinion on this one.

But I'd like to dwell on this a bit. How would one go about marking a break-up? Would one of the props be a voodoo doll bearing a striking resemblance to one's ex, with guests invited to use it as a pin cushion?

Or maybe the face of the former partner would be superimposed on a dartboard. The possibilities make one's head whirl.

Also at the fair were some 'seasoned' visitors who had gone through the heartbreak of separation and divorce and were presently in a new relationship which had not yet soured.

These were those from the school of once bitten twice shy. They were on the look-out for tell-tale signs to watch for if fate were to ever hand them a dud hand again. They were determined to be prepared like any boy scout worth his name.

On similar lines, the Museum of Broken Relationships in Berlin exhibits tokens of love's labour lost. The brainchild of two Croatian artists, this collection comprises items symbolic of what once were of great sentimental value to its owners but were donated to the museum after they evoked memories too painful to bear.

So, getting rid of such clutter in one's life perhaps helps to achieve some sense of closure. As they say, memories are made of these.