Focus: The rise of “Adultescents”

KICKER: Individual basis

Children are not to blame for changed ideals

I definitely agree that times have changed and that what used to be a given, is now questionable. However, it would be unfair to blame the change in ideals on “adultescents” because it is not the children or their ideals that has changed, rather society has. Children are not exploiting their parents, it is rather the parents that have given them the upper-hand to go about as they wish. We cannot blame children for being self-sufficient and spoiled because if they were never given the chance to prove themselves, they cannot be blamed for it. Society has changed and the hardships that our parents faced are now almost non-existent, so it would only be wrong to compare upbringings versus hardships. The struggles that children go through today are very different from those that our parents faced and vice versa so it is hard to judge whether the parents or the children are wrong. I do agree that children do not have the right to exploit their parents just because they haven’t been exposed to hardships. It is never okay to be disrespectful to your parents because at the end of the day, they are the reason for our existence and if it wasn’t for our parents we would not be where we are today. As for children being self-absorbed and expecting the world to be offered to them on a silver platter, this is debatable because it is something that should be looked at on an individual basis. While some children do take advantage of their parents’ kindness as a result from being privileged and so expect their parents to clear any possible obstacle for them, that does not mean that all children are the same just like all fingers aren’t equal.

From Mr Hamad Al Marzouqi

Business graduate based in Dubai

KICKER: Responsibility

Parents need to set a good example!

Adultescents is definitely the by-product of overinvestment in terms of excess materialistic resources, however, that can definitely be replaced by love and affection. Parents always have the best intentions for their children so it would be wrong to say that it is a cause for the rise in adultescents. I agree with the fact that parents do not allow children to experience struggles and hardships, yet we blame them for not being self-sufficient and independent. The underlying cause for this is the fact that times have changed and just like society has changed, so has life. Back in the 1970’s, we used to walk to school whereas now, there is a school bus that picks up children every day, and children would go out and climb trees or play in the park, whereas parents would be reluctant to let their children out of sight now. It is like a double-edged sword and it is we as parents that have created this environment for our children, and so we have contributed to the lack of their skills. We do not trust children’s competence and that is why we do not give them the chance to prove themselves. Children nowadays are self-absorbed and have little feelings for others, especially those less fortunate. They expect the world to be offered to them on a silver platter and that comes from the fact that parents give in to all their children’s desires – slightest discomfort or crying will make parents offer anything to make the child happy. With that in mind, it is up to us as parents to change that behaviour and set a good example for our children to follow. As parents we try so hard to please our children because it has become a yardstick for good parenting but the truth is that we cannot compare life now with how it was when we grew up. Life is just easier now and there are less barriers thanks to technological advance and the fact that everything can be provided to us by clicking a button. However, even so, it is never reason for anyone to take the other for granted.

From Ms Jerin Jacob

Business development manager based in Ajman

KICKER: Motivational tool

Children deserve to get what they want

Nowadays, the youth seems keen to learn and manage themselves on their personal and professional fronts. However, this cannot be considered as a result of any past circumstances but a serious shift in thinking about life in a different aspect. Parental intentions would never create adverse effect on their children; instead it is helping them to become independent and take care of themselves. The psychology of parents serves as a motivational tool for children to understand the morale of life that must be learned alone. In most occasions, children are self-contained in learning and at work with little focus on issues of simple nature. Children get little opportunity to be involved on their personal front; as a good amount of their time is dedicated to learning and education. As a result, they never realise the struggles of real life, especially in a family environment. Children must know the roles and responsibilities of adults to help them survive in their future life.

Nowadays, parents prefer sending their children abroad for education and jobs, and so they are losing out on time to live with their parents. They consider their children indulged, mainly because of their little attachment with home and such attitudes affect children and their actions. I am of the opinion that children should get whatever they deserve when they are young, that is valuable advice and guidance. They must be provided with a strong foundation of all the aspects of life to make them self-reliant when they become mature individuals. Many youngsters do live without all this opportunity because of their excessive involvement in education and related matters. The ignorance of homely affairs often confuses children while building their perceptions about life.

From Mr Ramachandran Nair

Quality development manager based in Ruwi, Oman

KICKER: Parenting skills

Parents need to be more involved

I do not think that the behaviour of children today versus that of 20 years ago is much different, the only difference is the parenting techniques used in the upbringing. Whether or not children are exposed to hardships is completely dependent on the parents and whether they trust them enough to let them deal with their own obstacles. The foremost issue in today’s society is the lack of time spent with children as a result of work and social lives, which leaves the upbringing of children to their caretakers or sometimes, themselves. There is not enough quality time spent with children, which explains their lack of independence and experience of dealing with hardships. If parents were to spend more time with their children, they would know more about making wise decisions and how to overcome obstacles. However, it is important to note that these are also on an individual basis, meaning not all children are spoiled or lack the sense of self-sufficiency. For example, if a child has been spoiled from a young age, it is not his or her problem because he or she was not exposed to the world - instead it is the responsibility of the parents, and mainly the mothers. The rise of adultescents lies in the hands of parents, and it is time that they step up to be more involved in their children’s lives.

From Ms Rania Atoum

Pharmaceutical student based in Sharjah

KICKER: Self-entitlement

Being spoilt is not confined to the 20th century

I do not think that children are any more spoiled these days as opposed to in the 1960’s. The term is relative and depends on a lot of factors, like children can be spoiled emotionally and materialistically but that does not mean that parents are trying to seek their children’s approval. Parents have and will always want what’s best for their children and for their children to be happy with them, so that has not really changed. What is important to note is that things are more accessible nowadays and it is only natural that parents would want to give their children what they didn’t have, but doing so does not mean that you are spoiling your children. The times have not changed, it’s just different and so are the parenting styles. It’s not that parents don’t want their children to face hardships, rather about making things easier for them because everything is available and accessible nowadays so why make it harder when it doesn’t need to be? There have always been children who expect the world to be offered to them on a silver platter and have a sense of self-entitlement but that is more of a personality trait and not relative to a specific time and place. Yes, times are different, but it hasn’t necessarily changed and parenting styles have evolved. However, it is unfair to label this “behaviour” with the 20th century because it was probably evident in the 1920’s as well.

From Ms Afra Atiq

Event coordinator based in Dubai

Facebook comments:

Children can only do what their parents allow them to do, so it’s up to the parents to not let the situation come to this.

From Ms Eeva Kaimio

Dubai

On any ground - children should not dare to exploit their parents.

From Mr Romantiko Riad

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

-Compiled by Donia Jenabzadeh/Community Web Editor