Fur-give me: Leaving your pet behind to travel? What to do for a guilt-free trip

I take out the suitcase from the cupboard, and Loki has already given me a withering look.

Guilt, guilt and more guilt. Dogs really know how to make you feel it.

When Loki first came into my life, I was struck by just how much anxiety I felt at the thought of leaving her behind. In her first year, she struggled with trust, after all, she had suffered trauma living on the streets. Strangers weren’t her friends; they were threats.

So, a month before we left, we requested our amiable dog-sitter to come and see her often, in the hope that she would get used to him and not fear his presence. It wasn’t completely successful at first, but her crippling fear melted into distrust and disdain, which is a smidge better. For a month, I stayed with her, while he tried his best to be friends with her. He was confused too: Every other dog in the city loved him. Ours wasn’t going to be so easy.

After a month, she wagged her tail at him. She still didn’t come near him, but she took biscuits. She had grudgingly accepted him and didn’t bark or growl in fear. And so, when we went for our trip, I waited eagerly for his video updates, every day. to see Loki’s progress. The tail wags got a lot more cheery, even if she wasn’t coming near him.

But she took all the bones and biscuits.

Cut to two years later. Loki sits with him, blissfully, when we are away. I’m still anxious, whenever I go on a trip, because it’s never easy to leave her behind, but at least the knot in my stomach lessens slightly: She is in good hands. She will be fine.

Should you feel guilty when travelling without your pets?

As anyone with pets will agree: It’s not easy to leave them behind. There’s a strong sense of guilt, and you feel that you are abandoning them. Nevertheless, as Saisha John, a dog trainer and expert explains, “For the most part, you can really just relax wherever you are. Your dog’s needs are immediate: They are more interested in what the sitter has to offer, than anything else at that point.”

Guilt doesn’t always mean you're doing something wrong. It means you love them, and that love just needs to be paired with the right preparation.

Anne Jackson, a Dubai-based life coach and dog mum, echoes this thought and says, “In reality, they’re often just enjoying a break from us, too. So I’ve reframed my thinking: Instead of feeling bad, I feel grateful that I’ve built a support system that allows both of us to recharge.”

So, before you go off a trip, here are a few things to consider for your pet’s emotional and physical well-being.

Time away isn’t a bad thing

As Jackson says, travelling without your pet doesn’t mean you love them any less. It means you care enough to ensure they’re safe, secure, and still surrounded by love while you take care of yourself too. “After all, to give anyone  humans or pets — the best of us, we have to make the best of us first and if that means a well-earned break, then that is in the best interest of both us and our loved ones,” she says.

Consider your pet’s personality and needs

Not all pets respond the same way when their human leaves. Some are laid-back and independent. Others are more social or anxious. For instance, Abu Dhabi-based Ciara Edmond’s dog is always anxious for the first day: She looks for socks and shoes to eat, or tries to tear bedsheets. “We don’t send her to a boarding as that might aggravate her anxieties further, we would rather keep her in the environment where she’s comfortable,” explains Edmond. So, they look for sitters that her dog would get along with.

Every animal is different, as Jenna Olaf, a Dubai-based pet volunteer explains. Some cats might just do well with a sitter who visits daily, or stays in their home. On the other hand, dogs need more care, playtime and walks. “Small animals like rabbits, hamsters, or birds benefit from consistent feeding, gentle interaction, and a quiet environment,” she says.

So, understand your pet’s emotional and physical requirements: It helps you choose the best care arrangement. It makes you feel more at ease.

Who is caring for them matters

Make sure your pet is in good hands, be it professional pet sitters who visit your home, or leaving them with someone you trust. 

For instance, PR executive Cian Dias’ cat, Barley, is her pride and joy. She leaves him with her brother when she is travelling. “I have a to-do list of all of Barley’s essentials. Once, he’s at my brother’s apartment, I stay for a little while to make sure he feels safe and happy, showing him the scent of his litter box, especially. My brother knows he must send me multiple photos and videos of Barley throughout the duration of my trip as this makes me feel better. I also try and FaceTime him to have Barley hear my voice,” she explains.

If you’re hiring someone new, pet trainer John suggests looking for references, reading reviews, and if possible, arranging a meet-and-greet. A familiar face and environment can make a huge difference for a nervous pet — and for your peace of mind.

If you're hiring someone new, look for references, read reviews, and if possible, arrange a meet-and-greet. A familiar face and environment can make a huge difference for a nervous pet — and for your peace of mind, explains John.

Stay connected, if it helps

Many pet sitters and boarding services offer daily updates, photos, or even live video chats. “This will reduce your anxiety, and help you stay emotionally connected without being physically present. However, if checking in too often heightens your anxiety, it’s okay to trust and let go for a while,” says John.

Nicola Ellegaard, a Dubai resident, hasn’t been away much from her budgie, Baby Blue, since early 2022. “I went on a weekend trip when he was only five months old, so I took him to a pet hotel for one night,” she explains. She was updated by the pet hotel via WhatsApp with photos and videos. “They sent videos of him eating and drinking, so that gave me some peace of mind. However, the whole experience must have been quite stressful for my little bird, and I couldn’t help feeling guilty about his stay there. The next time I went away on a short trip, I decided to keep him at home instead.”

She weighed the pros and cons and thought keeping him at home — with the radio on — would be a better option. He was absolutely fine, and they talked several times a day via Amazon Alexa’s camera and drop-in feature. “As long as I hear him chirping, talking, and singing via Alexa, I know he is doing fine,” she says.

Create comfort from afar

Have an emergency plan:

As John says, “You’re not abandoning your pet — you’re making arrangements because you care. Guilt often stems from uncertainty, and the best way to counter that is with solid planning. If your pet’s needs are being met, it’s okay to let yourself enjoy your trip,” she says.