How pets love: Beyond just cuddles and scratches

Love doesn't need words—when it comes to pets, each one has its own way of showing it.

Dubai-based Rana Wagih Afifi can barely keep the joy out of her voice, as she talks about her cat, aptly named Kitty. “Her love language is biting. So, basically, when I would pet her, she would do a little eye-gesture and eventually, when she is licking you, she bites, an aggressive little bite. That’s how she shows me.”  

How pets show love silently

And even then, each personality is distinct. One doesn’t like being cuddled so much and yet sleeps by her side whenever she is unwell, while the other keeps putting up a paw, asking for more scratches. Dubai-based Katrin Jahn, a vet, explains, “I don’t think we can classify love languages in animals. There are certainly different ways in which our pets to engage with us and this can be individually different. For instance, some dogs prefer pets and cuddles, others just engage through play or going on adventures togethers. Others just want to play for food rewards.”

Dogs, cats and birds, each with their own emotional vocabulary

There are ways to read the signs: You learn how to read their body-language, and understand species-specific sign is crucial. “Cats, for example, show affection differently to dogs. An upright tail with a little curve at the top is a sign of friendship in cats as is rubbing their faces or bodies against us or ‘hugging’ us with their tails,” she says.

For dogs, these show their love by soft body language, ‘wagging’ their whole bodies, pressing their body weight against us and choosing to be in close proximity to us. Initiating play through ‘play bows’ or engaging in fun activities together is another way dogs show their affection to us.

Each one’s different. With regard to birds, as Jahn explains, “Birds are quite unique in that most species develop ‘pair bonds’, so exclusive bonds with one other bird and often these pairs remain together over a lifetime. This is also what can cause problems in pet birds as they often get ‘pair bonded’ to one person and can show aggressive behaviours towards other people living in the same home.”

Selfless, pure and silent love

And yet, the love feels so pure, and unconditional. They stay beside you, when you’re unwell. They sense the sorrow and discomfort you go through, even if they do not know exactly what has happened.  Jakob Lutz, who started his own pet-sitting company named Paws and Relax in Abu Dhabi, recalls all the stories of selfless and unconditional love that he is seen over the years of working in pet-care. “I think that I have just been lucky to witness so many beautiful bonds between pets and their families. One of the most powerful parts of the job is seeing how much comfort and joy animals bring to people. Pets have an incredible way of sensing when we need them most, whether it’s during challenging times or moments of joy.”

A standout memory…

Lutz remembers a client, who had recently lost a family member. Their dog seemed to instinctively know that they needed extra support, constantly staying by their side, offering comfort that only a pet can provide. It was a reminder of how intuitive animals are. There’s a bond that they share with people, even in silence.

The love shines through the barks, the playful bites, the little following from one corner of the room to the other. Lutz continues, “They have been such a source of constant companionship. Just seeing their wagging tails and hearing those excited barks, or purrs that can brighten my day. I’m just always moved by how much love animals can bring into our lives. It’s a privilege to witness that everyday,” he says.

When your pet feels loved and cared for

 For starters, are they well-rested? That’s an important sign of safety and security first, explains Jahn. “Dogs and cats sleep for around 16 hours per day, so a lot longer than humans, and being able to do so is a sign that they feel safe. In addition, the absence of behaviours related to fear, anxiety, or stress is also indicative of a pet that feels safe and secure with us. Again, this all comes down to pet parents being able to read their pets’ body language and emotional state and understanding how they are feeling at any given moment.,” she says.

Needless to say, there are also ways to misread their affection:  Some pets, dogs in particular, can show ‘excessive friendliness’  as a way of coping with stressful environments or social situations. “We call these behaviours “fiddle” or “displacement” behaviours and they can alert us to the dog’s discomfort or inability to cope in social situations. Some dogs jump up at or all over people to try to get olfactory information. This is not a sign of affection but rather a stress response in a desperate attempt to get information about their safety,” adds Jah.   

In cats, it is very important to read their preferred physical interactions with people. Some cats just like being in the same room with people without necessarily being touched or petted. Others prefer being petted in specific areas of their bodies (usually the head), some cats prefer very short interactions, and some cats prefer interactions via play with toys. If pet parents read this correctly, then they can build the bond with their cat.

Just because they don’t like being cuddled…

As Jahn explains, “Not every pet enjoys cuddles and physical touch. This could be a result of previous experiences, in rescue pets, for example, or due to physical discomfort, which needs to be addressed by a vet. But there are so many ways in which pet parents can interact and bond with their pets that doesn’t involve cuddles, and these interactions can still create deep bonds. “