Peeves and the adorables

When Jennifer Aniston's latest love affair imploded, millions of women across the globe felt her pain. "She's so lovely," we sighed, sisterly feeling radiating across the miles and bank balances. "She deserves happiness."

We may not know "Jen", as she has become known, but we feel we do — she's lovable, funny, attractive and regularly dumped. And when Saint Cheryl was betrayed by Ashley recently, the chat forums jangled with righteous rage on our best girl's behalf. Yet news that fellow A-lister Kate Winslet has split from husband Sam Mendes has had a very different effect.

Among the nine perfectly nice women I happened to be working with yesterday, the general consensus was: "Ha, serves her right."

When questioned further, they simply shrugged: "She's just so annoying." It's irrelevant that Kate has shared her insecurities, gamely mocked herself in Extras and kept her marital problems discreet.

False claims

"She's always banging on about how ordinary she is," explains one Kate-hater. "And we all know she's a millionaire Oscar-winner who's stunning."

Perhaps we can't forgive her for leaving "ordinary" first husband Jim Threapleton, losing 2st and moving to New York with fellow-winner Sam Mendes, while simultaneously insisting how normal, chubby and British she is.

Men may laud their beauty, reviewers may praise their exquisite acting, but that has no relevance when we flick on the TV and groan: "Oh, not her again."

All famous women who appear to be holier than thou, who wear their gym kit and Kabbalah bracelet with pride, are roundly disliked. Despite Victoria Beckham's admirable talents, determination, impeccable public behaviour and evident loyalty, few women I know admire her. "She tries too hard," is the general view.

But we're not all bitter anti-feminists, dedicated to bringing successful, happy women down. We just like women we can identify with. Actresses such as Sandra Bullock are adored by women because she makes jokes on the Oscar podium and she's attractive without being an air-brushed waxwork.

Beauty imperfect

We love Cameron Diaz because she's publicly made mistakes, been dumped and, despite being stunning, has struggled with both acne and Justin Timberlake. Drew Barrymore, too, seems like a woman we could have a laugh with. One who wouldn't dump us for a date with a fellow A-lister.

That's why stars who are perceived to be "men's women" are so disliked by the rest of us. Angelina Jolie slipped from gorgeous, wild, "party-friend" material to "untrustworthy snake" when she ran off with Brad Pitt.

Many women reserve a special loathing for Teri Hatcher, who appears entirely blameless in interviews and plays Susan, the most irritating man's woman of all time, in Desperate Housewives. Others in this category include Penelope Cruz ("Always dating her smitten co-stars," grumbles one friend) and lad-mag favourite Megan Fox. And it's nothing to do with jealousy of their beauty. Women's favourite actress of all time, Audrey Hepburn, is arguably also the most beautiful.

We don't like female stars who claim they're "just like us". They're not — we don't spend six hours a day in the gym, or earn millions for a few weeks' work. It's not because we're incapable of celebrating sisterly achievement. We just want to support women we feel we might have something in common with.

Two of a kind

Women we love

II Drew Barrymore

II Sandra Bullock

II Helen Mirren

II Meryl Streep

II Jennifer Aniston

Women we don't

II Kate Winslet

II Gwyneth Paltrow

II Mariah Carey

II Andie MacDowell

II Nicole Kidman

* According to my very scientific internet poll, with 40 responses!