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The ultimate choice lies with you. Your present life, your relationships, social and personal life, work, are all results of a series of choices you have made consciously or unconsciously. It is not a question of best choices you (must) make — this is a burden you take on self as you don’t have the full picture then — it is about how you make the best, of the choices you have made; this is done from the space of heart.

Within this framework, I talk about responsibility today. Sometimes we like taking responsibility but most of the times we don’t.

Pressing choices

Why is this so? We don’t like taking responsibility because a) we like to live in freedom and b) it makes us accountable, or tied to, the choices we make. We don’t want to be accountable because this means making changes in our thoughts, behaviour patterns, attitude; usually there’s resistance to change. Those who don’t resist, embrace change willingly and openly and have no difficulty in taking accountability or responsibility.

Taking responsibility is a task, it’s an “energetic” task first, before it translates into physical. Not liking a responsibility, means it is an “energetic” burden (that is, we feel them, don’t see). When this energetic burden is too heavy and we can’t carry the weight of it alone, then we try to “offload” it to others, in the sense, pass the burden on; this translates as ‘blaming’ in physical sense. If a child blames a sibling for polishing off that cookie, the child is offloading the burden, as facing the consequences, too may be heavy.

We find ‘excuses’ to shirk responsibility or ‘run’ away from it, no one likes being burdened with too much weight. When responsibility has to be attended, the physical expression comes out as constant complain, irritation or whining. Most of these happen subconsciously. Anything in excess is weight/burden. Even emotions, feelings, as much as is responsibility. (You would see, how we ‘run for’ good emotions/ feeling, and how we ‘run away’ from others, because those are weighty, heavy on the heart).

Happily responsible

So, what would happen if one starts taking responsibility? This would mean less chaos in one’s own life. Chaos ensues due to a mind that is fragmented. A scattered mind goes on to increase energetic weight of a responsibility. If one were to prioritise life-choices and engagements, balancing responsibility is easy. By being selective in taking or fulfilling a responsibility, managing responsibility is easier. There will be also be more careful approach on the responsibilities one wants to commit to. A positive change in the heart- space helps reduce the energetic weight. This also means honouring the choices you have made, or are making, or will make; without labelling them as burdens.

As our life is made up of a series of choices we take each day, each moment, one can ask: what if, there is no one to blame? What if, there is no one to complain to, what if, there’s no one to take that irritative punch and what if, there is nowhere to run to? Would then, my choices be any different? Ponder. Pick a scenario and visualise.

This exercise may take you to a reflective -meditative state, where clarity may dawn as to how your present life is a mirror of the choices you have made in the past.

Choices are guided by even subtler aspect, that of thoughts. Our first responsibility, thus, lies with our thoughts that we constantly think. And our intentions. These two drive our choices. In taking ownership of our thoughts, we choose to respect or not-to respect our choices.

Urmila Rao is an emotional healer and a forgiveness teacher. All the ideas expressed herein are her own and not professional advice or medical prescription. Her email: