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Dear readers, here are a few questions that come up during my practice. I have tried my best to answer them.

Q1: Certain past life events keep bothering me. How can I make peace with them?

A: Events become memory. Some events turn into good memory which we recall, as they give us pleasure and gaiety, while some events we don’t want to remember because they hurt/ pain. All events have a purpose, even the painful ones. Rise above the pain to see what purpose it held for you. As a bearer of an experience, you have a unique relationship with that experience. It has a meaning and a purpose. Look for them. This will give you peace.

Q2: How can I be happy when I see so many people suffering?

A: The hurting and suffering of people are not in vain. There are many messages held in them, at the individual level and at the larger societal level; those messages need to be heeded to. When a benefit or learning is extracted from an unfortunate event, it gives meaning to the event. You will see, none of your sufferings really are in vain, if meaning is accorded to them. Learn.

Q3: I regret doing certain things. How can I overcome regret?

A: At the spur of the moment, when some things that we do are unbecoming of us, we sow the seeds of regret. Regret is unsustainable when reasons of self-behaviour is understood and replaced with newer actions; actions and behaviour which are worth sustaining, that which brings smile, when we think of them.

Q4: How can I change my friend? I want the best for her.

A: Why would you like to change anyone? They have their own lessons to learn. What is best for her/your friend is not known to you. It is known to her and she will reach there by herself, that is her journey. Give the best advice known to you, to her. Taking your advice or not, let it be her decision. Don’t get into judgements but support by being available to her in time of need.

Q5: I wake up feeling nervous and anxious in the morning. What should I do?

A: Find the source of anxiousness and nervousness and address them.

— Why don’t I address them?

Because you feel they are larger than you.

— Are they not larger than me?

Not as long as you allow them to be. You can cut them off by addressing them.

— How can I address them?

Sit with the source of anxiety, find the exact cause/s and address them, find your solution. The reason they trouble you is because you haven’t addressed them.

Q6: I am trying to change my habit and behaviour for good, but I don’t see much result. Why is that?

A: The effort isn’t complete.

— How can I complete the effort?

Keep it long and sustainable. Practice them more, with ease. Find joy in the change. Make it effortless. When done as a chore, effort is heavy and mind finds it burdensome to carry the weight of the change.

Q7: I fear, fear. How can I come out of it?

A: Don’t fear, fear. Address what is fearing you. Un-addressed energies gather momentum and builds fear, it snowballs as — it is unapproachable, undo-able. Un-do fear. Catch it when it is birthing, address it and don’t let it grow.

— Why are we born with fear in the first place?

It is required for you to be alive and help negotiate life on earth. Use it as per need.

Urmila Rao is an emotional healer and a forgiveness teacher. All the ideas expressed herein are her own and not professional advice or medical prescription. Her email: