Focus: Extra-marital relations

Life is fast and so are relationships. But, some things in life are to be taken slowly so that they last forever - marriage is one such concept. However, extra-marital relations usually sound the death knell on marriages.

Gulf News decided to poll readers to find out their opinion on it. While a majority of people think that promiscuity is on the rise, marriage is still considered to be a relationship meant to last a lifetime. What are your views on the issue? Tell us at readers@gulfnews.com.

Promiscuity is on the rise.

There is no doubt that with the new wave of movies, internet and change in perspectives, social decomposition is on the rise. The way people view a "marital relationship" has changed due to these immoral entertainment doses.

It's no longer a sacred affair. Live-in, extra-marital affairs and temporary romantic alliances have made the chaste nature of marriage outdated.
Safoora Masood
Dubai

Of course it is. Probably because of the current social standards; people are not content with their lives so they look for things outside a relationship or marriage if they are married. Extra-marital affairs have increased.

Probably that's more common in metropolises. Oh, men cheat more than women; maybe because men have more freedom and it is in their nature.
Rajeev Nair
Sharjah

Yes it has. Unfortunately, in many marriages there is no stability, the relationship between the husband and wife is not strong.

Some marriages are not built on a right foundation, there is no harmony and the husband and wife are not on the same wavelength, neither mentally nor financially. But I think this happens in a country that is open to different societies and cultures.
Muhye Al Banna
Egypt

This is true. It has always been prevalent but of late, due to a lot of factors like technological changes, man wants to kill two birds with one stone.

Due to a host of issues, a couple may be able to meet once in six months or even lesser. So, extra-marital affairs are on the rise. What begins as a harmless chat may lead to problems.
Lata Sureshkumar
Abu Dhabi
Gulf News Reader's Club member

Marriage as a "forever" concept is still widely prevalent.

I am in favour of marriage as a "forever" concept. Marriage is a kind of contract, which binds two souls together and this bond should be observed throughout life.

If there are problems in the relationship, they must be sorted out. If they get out of hand, then there is a provision in every society and religion to cancel that contract. But having extra-marital relations is disgraceful.
Adeel Malik
UAE

Yes it's still there. I mean when people marry they always think it is forever. Of course, there will always be people who cheat, but I would say men and women are equal as in nobody cheats more than the other.

But women I guess would not go looking for another man or relationship. Of course, cheating is not the only reason why marriages fail, it's just one of the many reasons.
Sanya Khan
Sharjah

Absolutely, because marriage is the safest bet for a man. After you reach 35 or 40, the best place to be in is with your family. I used to think that men cheat more than women, but I think they are equal now because of loneliness.

They don't spend time with the family; they are busy in the office, which is where extra-marital affairs take place sometimes.
Subhash Bakshi
Dubai

Marriage as a "forever" concept is not true anymore today. People have become too lax at working on their marriages. There is no more "Till death do us apart or … in sickness and in health".

Why? Because of people being busy with material things and busy in satisfying
themselves.
Ms Lorelie
UAE
Full name withheld by request

People presume "liberal" means having a casual attitude towards relationships.

No, no, I don't agree. In a marriage, a man is supposed to stay faithful to his wife and the wife is supposed to stay faithful to the husband. You can be liberal but within certain limits.

It does not mean that you can go out and cheat on your husband. This is not in our culture. You have to stay faithful. Maybe they don't understand what a marriage is.
Sameera Mazhar
Dubai

I think it depends on each person and how they define the meaning of liberal. But if you are married and you look for partners because you are liberal that is just forbidden.

Liberal doesn't mean that. I think in a marriage you have no freedom - you have to always think about yourself and your partner.
Nawar Bitar
Dubai

Well, liberal doesn't mean that if you are married, you are allowed to go out looking for women or vice versa. I think it's a misunderstanding.

I think what happens is that in a marriage when a wife and husband are not compatible, the husband goes out and meets other women behind his wife's back, to look for someone he is compatible with. Of course, I am not saying this is right.
Amir Hussain
Syria

No, people don't really understand what this word means. Yes, yes there are people who have this idea and I think organisations that call for women's liberation lead some women to think that being liberal means being casual about relationships.

I think a higher percentage of women believe that. We just need to create more awareness on this topic.
Ymni Jrab
Sharjah

Commitment and sacrifice for family are considered passé.

Yes, there is no commitment. Now there is no communication between family members in general; like my brother and I. We live in the same emirate and we do not see each other as often as we should.

If I want to check on my mother, I just give her a call. We are so busy with work! Even marriages these days suffer because everybody is busy. Nobody cares anymore.
Sabri Al Disouqi
Egypt

I don't think there is any sense of commitment left towards family. I, too, earn only for myself. There is just too much of work pressure for anyone to think about their family or commitments towards them.

Everyone is here to make money and therefore it also gets difficult to find someone interested in a serious
relationship.
Farida Ruto
Dubai

No, I think that the sense of commitment and sacrifice still exists. Take for instance us expatriates here; the reason we are here is so that we earn more for our families to live better in our home countries.

This is a sacrifice that we are making because of our commitment towards our families. And I don't think this value would ever become passé.
Deviram P.
Dubai

There is no sense of commitment. There are a lot of people who sacrifice their lives to ensure that their families lead a comfortable life.

But still there are those who have no relations whatsoever with their families. I think it depends on their situation and circumstances.
Muneer P.
Dubai