10 remarks that leave me feeling confused

1. ‘You look better as you get older'. Clearly it is everything to do with age and nothing to do with me so I can't take the credit for it.

2. ‘You and your father look like brothers.' Which one of us should feel offended? Enough confusion here to last a lifetime.

3. ‘This colour makes you look slimmer.' Help! Does that mean I need to have a monotone wardrobe?

4. ‘I wish I had your job.' I've never been able to figure out if this means that my job allows me to slack off or it's a no-brainer.

5. ‘You are a real lucky guy.' In other words, I don't deserve what I have. I just got lucky.

6. ‘You really crack me up.' Should I feel good that I am funny or should I now join the circus?

7. ‘I had a shirt just like the one you are wearing, which I gave away.' Uh, OK…

8. ‘I wish I could tick people off like you do.' In other words, I am rude, insensitive and arrogant.

9. ‘You have such a wonderful appetite.' Makes me want to nibble on celery sticks the next time this friend is around.

10. ‘You have a way with words.' In other words, I am manipulative, wily and use words for selfish gains.