10 Reasons I'd rather not be a celebrity

We all have our personal lists - of the zaniest/quirkiest/
funniest/ craziest/smartest ... We devote this page to them.

This week, Niranjan Gidwani is group general manager of Eros Group of Companies, lists ...

Can't be anonymous: Ever seen Tom Cruise chilling out with his family in the mall or Angelina Jolie having some quite time with her kids without the paparazzi pouncing on them?

Can't be myself: I wouldn't be able to be myself without making headlines in the tabloids. If I dare to be the real me, I'll be fodder for gossip columns. So I'll have to sport tapered shoes, risk blisters, wear weird-looking designer clothes (just to go unnoticed).

Have to dress to impress: If I were caught wearing the same tie twice, the tabloids would dig out pictures from their archives and rip my image.

Will have to lose my sleep: What with having to grace all social events, support causes (that I may not really care about) ... when do I get to enjoy quality sleep? Honestly!

Have to move with the Who's who in society: Considering the number of years I've known him and the time we spend together stuck in traffic, it could be that my chauffer knows a lot about me. But being a celeb, it can't be that my chauffer knows more about me!

I'd have to be fashionably late: By habit, I like to be on time for my meetings and appointments. But being a celebrity means I would have to be suitably late for functions that I grace. And if you have not noticed, the cost of a watch is usually inversely proportional to its wearer's commitment to time.

All that smiling. It will be painful: I'd have to maintain that fake smile in the presence of the paparazzi, with that tycoon who stole my business idea, my psychologist … (because the cameras will be clicking away you see) when I'd actually like to give him a piece of my mind.

I'd have to mind my ps and qs: I'd have to be elegant and charming at all times, mind what I put on my plate, mind how I eat it ... So I really wouldn't enjoy a boys' night out where we'd get to stuff our faces with stringy pizza, buttery popcorn and crisp tacos - what a loss! All because I'm supposed to be some sort of a "role model".

In focus forever: The car I drive, the suit I wear, the mobile phone I use - it's going to be the talk of the town.

Always in the spotlight: My fans, the press and of course my rivals, wouldalways pick on my every move, my motives, even my moods! I may not even be able to discipline my children fearing that child support groups will stage a protest in front of my gate. Whatever I do will not be good enough unless of course I happen to be Amitabh Bachchan.