When we become parents we forget that we are also children. Children raised with a certain set of values and beliefs that have made us who we are. We are all the products of our upbringing, our experiences, our beliefs, our values and what we make of all these combined elements.
The same reason when we go to see a doctor he asks us our history with regards to any ailments that our parents have, to understand our bodies better. In the same manner we imbibe a lot from our parents emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We are aghast that when we become parents ourselves and we turn around and parent our children the same way we were parented. Oops did I just sound like my mother is what our inner voice might sometimes bring up.
Of course we are a mixture of the good and bad stuff and given the evolution most parents are undergoing most of us are aware of the qualities we have inherited that are serving us in being a parent and those that are not.
Recently a dear friend of mine, parent to two wonderful children had a personal tragedy. Her mother suffered a stroke and has been bed ridden for the last six months in their home country. As a parent of two school going children, running her own printing business she has taken on responsibility of her ailing mother. She takes a flight home and spends two weeks caring for her mother while her sister who stays in the same neighbourhood as their mother does the looking after for the next two weeks.
Between the two sisters they have split their duties half n half and providing care, love and time to their mother. She has a very supportive husband who also pitches in and flies home when her business does not permit her.
Can you imagine the impact the above has on their own children? Seeing their parents taking turns to look after their ailing grandmother with genuine love and care. The values of love and care these two young children are imbibing are by their parents modeling these values. Given the spring break is coming up the children actually told their parents that they would like to go home and be with their grandmother and spend time with her.
On many occasions there is no need for words or lectures, as parents our children learn more from our actions.
If you are tired of trying to be “the ideal parent” take a break. Just BE the person you want your child to be. He/she will learn by modeling you.
This is an interactive column on parenting skills and child behaviour. If you have a query, write to firstname.lastname@example.org
Sunaina Vohra is a certified Youth and Family Life Coach at Athena Life Coaching in Dubai. For more information log on to www.athenalifecoaching.com or call (+971) 56-1399033.