Getting back: Back to school

Nithya VNN wrote me a letter to share her loathing of maths. It seems like in VNN's class, they have a session called "mental maths". The test is to answer all the numerical challenges out loud in class. To me, all maths is mental! I think I had mathematical dyslexia when I was in school - I understood all the words and theories behind what was being squeezed into my small head, but it became nonsensical once it went in. I just thought about it all too much.

If I was told that it took an hour for a man to build a brick wall and I had to work out how long it would take ten men to do the same - I would analyse the question. I would say that it would be too crowded for ten men to build the wall at the same time. All they could do is build one long row of bricks, which would be useless and a contractor wouldn't want to build a ‘step'. I mean, how much of a wonder would the "Great Step of China" be?

Rini G has just discovered my column, flattened between the editor's page and the recipes in Friday. She exclaims, "I felt I found a friend, someone I can relate to." We share a love of words and writing it seems, which at the end of the day is all about the ability to communicate.

I think this is a priceless lesson that writing has taught me. I was never sure if I could express myself in a way that was natural for me. More importantly, if any of it would translate to others - namely my editors and audience.

It's an uphill struggle for some, though. I'm constantly being asked what some of my phraseology means. When you write "peeps," do you mean people? As much as I love the written word,I am aware that week after week, I contribute tothe destruction of the pillars of grammar, punctuation and spelling by using slang and street terms to paint a picture. But hey, if the point comes across, and we can share some dialogue, it can'tbe all that bad.

Rini also says that "the pen is mightier than the sword." I could totally agree with that on most days if I wasn't sitting here with plasters over most of the fingers on my left hand, which was caused by a new fancy kitchen knife. It is so sharp, it could cut diamonds! I really think this knife is possessed. I only have to look at it and a neat incision appears on my hands. There are no words that I can think of that are as mighty as that knife and believe me, many colourful words sprout forth as it cuts me time and again.

Psychologists tell us that our brain has a left and a right side. The side that is more dominant, dictates if we are gifted in mathematics or languages. I think my brain is shaped like an eggplant, with no defined left or right, and I think it spins on a rotisserie, so my thoughts are never focused on just one thing. I always seem to have a million thoughts going off like fireworks, and much of what I want to offer in response to a challenge is perversely profound or funny, but sadly bears no relation to the question at hand! As Namrata J put it when writing about the sciences, she finds herself "lost, frazzled and confused."

I think that might be the epitaph on my gravestone!

Academically-Challeng-ingly Yours

- G* Nice…is a Dubai-based columnist who writes an exclusive column for Friday.