Harshita Gupta elaborates on the power of self-love

Love is perhaps the most beautiful paradox of human existence. It has the power to uplift us to euphoric heights, yet it can also break us into unrecognisable pieces. We celebrate it in all its glory, but seldom do we talk about what happens when it is lost; when the person who we once felt so comfortable with becomes a stranger, and the heart must navigate the painful path of unloving.

For Delhi-based Harshita Gupta, love was never a fleeting feeling; it was deep, enduring, and rooted in friendship. But when love turned into loss, she found herself grappling with an unfamiliar ache — one that millions experience yet struggle to articulate.

Her debut book, Unloved – The Art of Moving On, is an intimate exploration of heartbreak, healing, and rediscovering self-love. And in the process it also offers hope and tips to those who are on the cusp of falling in love or are in love.

In Dubai to speak about love and about Unloved at the recent Emirates Airline Festival of Literature, Harshita offered her fans plenty of tips to show how one can love and, equally, how to come to terms with life after a break up.

“There are plenty of lessons out there on why one must love, and how to love, but nobody teaches us how to stop loving,” says the former radio jockey and now a hugely popular comedy content creator with more than 1.5 million followers on Instagram.

Her story is not one of mere romance but of profound friendship. “I was in love with my best friend,” she shares. But when it ended painfully, she was devastated. “Seven and a half years of knowing someone so deeply, so truly; it wasn’t just about losing love, it was about losing the friendship,” she says.

Clearly, when love and friendship intertwine, the lines blur. And when a break up happens, you don’t just miss a partner, you miss the person who knew your favourite coffee order, the one who sent you memes in the middle of the night, the one who was your go-to for every triumph and every tear. “It was the loss of the friendship that broke me the most,” she confesses.

Heartbreak is not just about pain. It is about confusion, about the sudden emptiness that follows after losing someone who was once your world. Unloved is Harshita’s way of helping others find their way through this darkness. “My book is a guide, an exit plan,” she explains. It is for anyone who has ever loved deeply and found themselves lost when that love no longer remained.

The process of unloving is complex. There are days when you convince yourself you’re over it, only to hear a song or see a familiar street corner that takes you right back, she says. “At some point, the book was about being unloved,” Harshita admits. “But mainly, it’s about unloving someone you deeply loved, because life happens. Circumstances change, situations arise beyond your control.”

The antidote to heartbreak is not a rebound relationship or mindless distractions. It is self-love. And yet, learning to love oneself after being defined by another person can be a daunting task.

“One lesson I learned is that you don’t have to give someone so much that your cup becomes empty. You can only fill another cup if you have something to offer,” Harshita believes.

“So, I started putting myself first. People called me selfish, but I thought, ‘If I don’t think about me, who will?’ I decided to protect my own heart. In love, you can be selfish to a certain extent. You should be selfish if it makes you happy, as long as you’re not harming anyone else. I was just protecting my heart.”

Harshita’s own journey of healing involved deep introspection and professional help. “I underwent therapy to help me through it,” she shares. Through writing and self-reflection, she learned that while love for another person can be all-consuming, the love we owe ourselves is the one that truly sustains us.

“One of the things that helped me overcome my heartbreak was writing the book,” she says. “It helped me a great deal in recognising the importance of self-love and in moving on.”