Some young adults put off taking up jobs in India

New Delhi: Rakesh Mittal, 57 is at the crossroads. “I worked relentlessly for years, contemplating leading a retired life when I would be 55. But here I am, forced to put it off without an expiry date!” Mittal, a senior accounts officer, said.

The reason is that his sons, Sahil and Angad, aged 29 and 26, respectively, are both unsettled. While the elder, after doing an advanced course in computers and quitting law after two years, is still indecisive about the career he wants to choose, the younger is following his brother’s pattern. After completing his MBA, he is in a comfort zone and spends most of his time cooking.

Mittal’s worries do not end here. His wife has no qualms about their sons’ inaction. “They will understand when the time comes. Many children take up responsibilities late in life,” she says defending her sons.

Meanwhile, Angad has been planning to open a small eatery. But Mittal remarks, “It’s not easy to venture into any business. It’s a short-lived plan that will misfire.”

Angad is, therefore, upset with his father. “He thinks I am not mature enough. Unless he helps me financially, I have no future. I want him to seek a loan from his company, which I promise to pay off in time. But he refuses to help,” Angad complained.

Numerous families are passing through such situations and have come to an absolute impasse wherein the children’s ‘waithood’ continues and the parents continue to invest in their career choices, adding an extra burden on themselves. They probably prolong their retirement plans and even end up using their retirement funds.

Dr Vishal Indla, chief psychiatrist at Vimhans Hospital in Vijayawada, Andhra Pradesh, explains, “Though the term ‘waithood’ is new, the phenomenon is an old one. But certainly, the figures have increased.”

He attributed it to the behaviour of parents. “When children are young, parents tend to be over-indulgent and permissive. That’s the reason why children, especially those belonging to the high socio-economic background, do not understand the value of hard work and refuse to shoulder their responsibilities.

“With parents ensuring each desire of their children is met, even though it is necessary to let them see the hard facts of life after a certain age, unknowingly they create a make-believe world for their children.”

Indla says he comes across many young adults who feel one day they will achieve sudden success in life. Psychological disorders like depression, personality disorder and substance abuse (drug addiction and drinking) are often seen in such people.

Businessman Yasin Khan’s dilemma is that his son and daughter are refusing to grow up. He feels bad that “children of our relatives and friends are all settled and married. But I do not know what’s wrong with mine! Neither of them wanted to join the family business, so I let them follow their heart. But now I am repenting that I should have been strict with them.”

Having done courses in varied fields – from architecture to photography, Khan’s son is still jobless. He has finally given his son an ultimatum to either take up a job or join the family business within the next two months. “It’s time he got married and had children, but he has been a bad influence even on his sister,” he complained.

Equally disappointed with his rather ambitious daughter, Khan says, “For four years she kept doing engineering and received a job offer from a prestigious company. But instead of taking up that job, she now wants to sit for the bank exams only because her friends are preparing for the same!”

The psychiatrist indicated youngsters were blocked by fears that keep them from going forward.

“In such scenarios, parents should at some stage withdraw themselves from this never-ending responsibility. Who knows, that might spur the youngsters into action,” he suggested.