Abu DHABI The number of Indian couples in the UAE seeking legal help to resolve marital discord has seen a dramatic rise in the last couple of years, according to the Indian Workers’ Resource Centre or IWRC, the welfare arm of the Indian missions in the UAE.
“Extramarital affairs and domestic violence can be seen as the predominant reasons for rocky relationships between many couples who seek our help on the IWRC hotline number,” Lavina Ahuja, a volunteer psychologist with the counselling cell at IWRC, told XPRESS.
Helpline
In 2013 the hotline number received 365 calls from unhappy Indian couples, while 276 couples sought legal help to settle family woes. In 2012, the calls concerning family matters stood at 315, and those who sought legal help were 209. The numbers in 2011 were much lower.
An official who works with the IWRC said it is a worrying trend that more and more Indian couples in the UAE are seeking divorce. “It is a reflection of what is happening in our society. Divorce rates are high not just among Indians but among other many communities in the UAE,” said the official.
In 2012, the UAE recorded the highest divorce rate in the region. In Dubai alone, 1,129 divorces took place – more than three per day. The official added that IWRC volunteers are trying to bring warring couples to the counselling table and settle the matter amicably. The figures of how many of them reconcile and how many end up in divorce were not available.
“When both spouses are already engaged with other partners outside marriage, there is not much hope of salvaging the marriage,” said the official.
Lack of social support and accountability towards family members are what lead couples to get entangled in relationships outside marriage, according to Ahuja who also works as a Personal Development Consultant at Life Works counselling centre in Dubai.
“When they don’t find a shoulder for support from their family, friends, parents or siblings, people reach out to strangers,” said Ahuja. The less likelihood of getting caught by family and relatives in the UAE and lack of accountability also encourages couple to go astray.
But when it comes to domestic violence, the psychologist says unfortunately there is some level of tolerance and acceptability among South Asian couples.
Bigger problem
“Domestic violence does not always flag off as an issue. That is unfortunate. I deal with wives who say that they can handle that issue (wife beating).
“They do not approach because of domestic violence. They think domestic violence is escalating because the couple is unhappy. Then we have to sit down with them and make them understand it is a bigger problem that has to be addressed,” said Ahuja.
According to the IWRC spokesperson, if financial stress taking a toll on families was the pressing issue they had to deal with during the economic meltdown, marital differences and the increase in the divorce rate have been serious concerns since 2011.
“People were losing jobs and families were under stress. Now couples are fighting because they don’t want a mother-in-law in the house, or the husband and wife cannot agree on their ward’s future course of study,” said the spokesperson.
Ahuja has a word of advice for couples who have serious differences. “ The earlier you seek help, the better. When there are serious differences and difficulties in communicating, and you know your marriage is not working, that is the time you should seek counselling.”
According to her, marital counselling should be done before or immediately when couples start seriously contemplating a divorce. “Even in the best of circumstances, marriage counselling is not easy. They have to take a massive step back to stop arguing and start communicating effectively. By delaying the process, they are only making it even more difficult,” said Ahuja.
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