Coping with baby blues

Ritika and Ketan Ketani

For Ketan and Ritika their baby, Simran, decided to enter their world earlier than anticipated, creating a bit of a panic. Ritika's mother was scheduled to arrive a few days later to assist her daughter with her new baby - and to make matters worse, once Simran was born, she was diagnosed with jaundice. A common feature in the UAE, the doctors assured them, but for the Ketanis, this bit of news was gut-wrenching.

"Apart from all this," recalls Ketan, "we had our other daughter, Sophia, who was four then, to care of as well. There were days when I was needed at the hospital, and had to depend on friends to keep our daughter. There were embarrassing moments when I had to knock on their doors at odd hours to retrieve her. And then, I also had to answer her incessant questions about what was happening, cook the right food for her, bathe her, all the time wondering if I were doing it right - it's all part of being a 'Gulf parent', I guess, because at home I would surely have had a bevy of female relatives ready to take her under their wings," he laughs.

Once Simran was home, there was the dilemma of where she would sleep that first night. Being unwell, would she be okay, alone in her cot? What if something were to happen when she was asleep? But were she to sleep with them in their bed, there was a risk of them rolling over her in their sleep. Finally, the first option took precedence.

"There was no grandma's advice to get us out of this one. The worst passed us by finally, but Simran has always been prone to frequent colds ever since. As we are reluctant to give her medicines every time this happens, we turned to a herbal eucalyptus oil that my mother sent us. We apply it on her back and chest at bedtime, and add a drop in her bath, and the vapours clear her nose and chest very effectively. We use it on both our kids. It works for body aches and tummy aches as well, and is now available in the local market," says Ritika. "In the morning, I give Simran a spoon of honey, it warms up her insides."

As Ketan is a pharmacist, trips to the doctor are kept to a minimum. Most minor problems are taken care of by him. "When Sophia was born, and until she was 2, we lived on the edge of our seats. We were a nuclear family, just the two of us and the baby. Every day brought new symptoms and problems, and we were worried all the time. In times like this, our faithful book, Mothercare 0-5, came to our aid every time. As our parents were not here to tell us what to do, the book took their place. It told us what to feed at which month, when to start with eggs and cheese, about diapers, illnesses, potty training...

"We never had to panic when either of our children did not speak/walk/grow at a particular rate. There are evenings when we sit together and go through some specific chapters of the book to deal with the worry of the moment," say the Ketanis.

"Ritika does tend to panic easily," says Ketan, and she agrees. "When I see anything out of the ordinary, I am instantly in a flurry, and I have to call mom on the telephone, and she says something like, 'Calm down, it will pass, it happens to all kids.' Only then do I feel better and handle things in a more sensible way!"

Simran, who will be two in August, had an attack of pneumonia only a few months back. "We were shifting house, and then she came down with fever and pneumonia. She was in hospital for three days. Along with this, there was some viral infection that caused her to break out into a rash. Once she was home, the rash re-appeared, and we fell apart again. We were running to and from the hospital, until, finally, the medication worked. At times like this, when you've done all you know to protect your child, we turn to prayer. It always works," says Ritika.

Cris and Arnel Geverola