As I drove home from work on Monday, I wasn't myself. I was feeling very gloomy and down, although I had had a very productive and wonderful day. I began to mentally review the course of events during the day desperately searching for the trigger of my depressed state. Then I looked down to my BlackBerry which I placed on the passenger seat.
Usually I see the red flashing light and I get excited, eager to arrive to my destination so I can check the message I received. But there was no flashing red light and I realised I was driving at a slow and relaxed pace, in no hurry to reach home. When I got home I called my friend to catch up.
"Mohammad, no one loves me, I received no messages from anyone today... the red light on my phone wasn't blinking. It was terrible!" He informed me that the BBM service was down and none of the data services had been working all day. I expected him to chastise me for being such a weak individual to allow an electronic device to have such a control over me. Instead, he jumped in echoing my sentiments.
"You too? I thought I was the only one. I came home so depressed as well!" It made me feel slightly better to know that I wasn't the only one who was addicted to my BlackBerry, but at the same time it really scared me to know that I was that dependent on something.
Sure, I like to indulge sometimes, but to a limit. I hate the feeling when something has total control over me. It's very unsettling. I decided since BBM was down I would spend the evening hanging out with myself. I couldn't remember the last time I had just spent time with me. What would I do? The possibilities were endless! I ended up sitting on my couch catching up on TV shows and just enjoying the calm. I had an amazing night of restful sleep.
For once I didn't glance at my phone in the middle of the night to see if the red light was blinking. In the morning the services were back up and I checked my "recent updates" on my BBM list. Nearly half of my list put up statuses related to BBM. "Congratulations UAE and Lebanon, BBM is back!" read one.
"BBM never leave me again" read another. While it wasn't the most dramatic experience I've been through, I realised that I am indeed addicted to instant messaging, especially BBM. I carry my phone everywhere and I cannot even leave it in my purse — it must be in my hand at all times (except when I'm eating, of course). Does that make me weird? Maybe, but I blame it on the age we live in of rapidly advancing technology. The world community is shrinking as communication has become extremely fast and easily accessible.
We feel the need to be constantly updated and in the loop and somehow feel like we are behind if we miss any piece of information. While it has its advantages and disadvantages, I believe we will have to use our own judgment to gauge whether we are users or abusers.
