Right that email
How to mind your ps and qs while communicating on the web
If the digital revolution has so far provided one painful lesson, it is that you never can be too careful what you put in an email.
Joseph Dobbie, a web designer from Berkshire, faced international levels of embarrassment recently after he wrote a florid message to a woman he'd met at a party. Grimacing, she forwarded it to her sister and, thanks to the uncanny appeal of email's "forward" facility, thousands of others soon knew that, for Mr Dobbie, her "smile is the freshest of my special memories".
Authors
Will Schwalbe and David Shipley, the authors of a new book on the etiquette — they call it "netiquette" — of sending emails, have plenty more examples of ill-judged and ill-fated messages to prove their point that it is important to get it right.
And, with an estimated two million messages sent every second, many people clearly think they are getting it wrong as the book, Send: the How, Why, When — and When Not — of Email, shot into the American bestseller list within 48 hours of its publication.
Everything
Schwalbe, who estimates that he receives and sends around 70,000 emails a year, believes people are currently using emails to do everything. "People will eventually discover what emails are best for, which is for telling people things they need to know and getting confirmation on things. When it involves emotion or discussion, email gets bulky," he says.
"Emails are one of those things everyone thinks everyone else does badly but not themselves. People tell me they're going to get the book for their children, their boss or their brother, but never for themselves.
"The message we got from writing the book is that, with emails, everyone needs to be a little harder on themselves and cut everyone else a little more slack."
The pair argue that email is the "hardest written medium of all" and it's difficult not to disagree. Some people send an email instead of a letter, others substitute it for a phone call. For recipients to know which was intended — and so the tone of their response — can be crucial.
Tone is something that needs to be injected into an email, otherwise the reader might misinterpret it.
Emails encourage the "lesser angels of our nature", making us angrier, less sympathetic and more easily wounded than usual because we are unable to monitor the reactions of the person with whom we are communicating.
Good advice
Some email advice, obvious but very much needed, from Send: the How, Why, When — and When Not — of Email:
- Think before you send.
- Send email you would like to receive.
- Sarcasm should be avoided as it's prone to misinterpretation.
- Anger is another serious danger. In fact, try not to get emotional at all.
- The book's "eight deadly sins" include emails that are "unbelievably vague", "cowardly", "too casual", "inappropriate" and insult you "so badly you have to get up from your desk".
6 essential email types as identified by authors Will Schwalbe and David Shipley of a new "netiquette" book:
Requesting
Responding
Informing
Thanking
Apologising
Connecting
The perfect email
DON'T use words if you're not sure of their meaning.
DO be aware how a word will be received if you misspell it.
DO use simple, short, repetitive grammar.
DON'T be lax with punctuation.
DO keep paragraphs short.
DON'T use capital letters unless you are celebrating — it looks like you are shouting.
DO use exclamation marks — they can infuse an email with warmth.
DON'T use abbreviations, such as LOL (laugh out loud), unless you're sure the other person knows the code.
DO be honest about who you are.
