Aditi Mittal was just about recovering from post-partum blues when the Gulf News reader was hit by a mountain of worry: The cancer was back.
Mittal’s first bout with cancer was when she was 25 years old. A year after she got married, one evening, she noticed a lump near her collar bone on her right side. “It was painful. When I pressed it further, it seemed quite substantial. And so next day I went to my gynaecologist and she told me that this looks like something to be worried about. Within a few days, they confirmed that it was ductal carcinoma,” she tells Gulf News in an interview.
Initially, she admits, she couldn’t believe it. “I thought they had mixed-up something and that it wasn’t a possibility, because in my family no one had cancer and the sort of lifestyle that I was living - I was not a smoker, not a drinker – and I tried to be healthy all through my life, so I didn’t think that this would be something that would come to me. But I reconfirmed two to three times; I sent those samples to different labs for testing and unfortunately, all of them confirmed that it is ductal carcinoma.”
Source: WebMD
And so began the treatments. “So I went through a lumpectomy first, then I went through 16 cycles of chemotherapy and then we went into radiation; I had 28 cycles. And post that, just regular tests that you have to get done,” she recalls.
‘I lost my nails’
It was a painful tunnel to cross, she says. “Honestly, I just went through it – there were days I just could not get up, nausea was crazy all through my chemo. I did not have energy, I started losing my hair; my scalp used to hurt a lot, it was very, very sensitive, I lost all my nails. So chemo was tough and I was like a battered soul. But I remember after the 10th or 11th chemo I decided that I would start going to work, because … I wanted to distract myself.[Employer and friend, designer] Sabyasachi was very supportive and he said, ‘You want to just come and show your face and dress up? You’ll feel good.' And so that’s what I used to do – not every day but a day or two in a week just for an hour or two.” (At the time, Mittal was the store manager at the designer's shop in New Delhi.)
It took two years for Mittal to feel like herself, she says. “I was cancer free for 10 years.”
Then in 2019, she gave birth to a baby boy. Seven months on, she says, “I felt a lump.”
ALSO READ
“That day I was pretty sure [it was cancer] somehow, because I have gone through it before. I told my husband and we cried so much, without the doctor even saying anything.
“We had booked our tickets for Mauritius – we were supposed to travel in four or five days and I remember I went to my doctor and saying, ‘We are supposed to travel’, because it was [son] Kabir’s first holiday and we were very pumped about that. And when I went to the doctor he said, ‘We should now meet the day you come back.’
“We went for the holiday and had a blast there. Then I came back and straight away went into treatment. We started with chemotherapy this time,” she says.
Operation cancelled
COVID-19 of course also made its presence felt; Mittal’s doctor, the surgeon she had been relying on to get her safely to the other side of sick cancelled the operation a day before it was scheduled. “My surgeon was an aged lady – over 70 – she refused my surgery a day before it was supposed to happen, because she said, ‘It’s very unsafe for me to go to the hospital’. So [at the last] minute I had to look for another surgeon and shift the hospital altogether. I had been very comfortable with her because she was my surgeon from the get-go. That was devastating for me – obviously, I had trust issues. Fortunately, it went well.”
On January 1, 2020, she had her first bout of chemotherapy. “That went on for almost three months and after that they did a mastectomy and after that they did breast reconstruction,” she says.
The period was traumatic, and not just because of the hospital visits and jabs of medication. “If someone asks me to describe it, I just can't. I just want to not remember it, because especially right after the mastectomy my son had turned one – he was one year two months old, and the doctor told me not to pick him up because I had just had a surgery. I think I cried every day because of that, because he used to look up to me and he used to be like, ‘Why is my mother not holding me?’ I couldn’t explain it. That really played on my mind,” she explains.
Two years on, Mittal and her husband started a firm called Preggerz.in, which helps mums with their birth journey, providing everything from birth planning to pregnancy to postpartum recovery.
Turning the corner
The now 37-year-old has a sunny predisposition, but that took work – and keen observation. She explains: “Whenever I went to the hospital, I saw so many people suffering and especially kids who were suffering, going through this disease – they had pipes going through their nose, throat. I’ve seen people suffer a lot; I feel I’m in a much better place than a lot of people who are suffering.
“A lot of people who are suffering are not even able to come to a hospital, they do not have money, and they don’t have the resources to go to the right doctors. So I started thinking about all this and thanking God for what I do have: a body that can take care of the treatment that can help; a family that is so, so supportive. One year into my marriage I went into this cancer treatment, which goes on for over a year, post that your body takes so long to recover, you don’t have strength, you are irritable, you don’t want to talk, so hats-off to the people who stood by me. My husband - it was an arranged marriage so for us - everything was new. Going through it, he stood by me. Of course he had bad days, but he never [threw it in my face] though I could see.”
And he gave her some advice. “I remember Sanchit, my husband, he gave me the best advice that I give to anyone and everyone I meet who is suffering from this disease. He said, ‘Let’s treat it like a fever and we’ll go through it.’ He said, ‘It’s just going to be a treatment that’s going to be prolonged for a year or two, but the fact that there is a treatment and the fact that there is a possibility that you can come out of this absolutely fine, let’s just keep that in mind. Let’s stay focused on the treatment – let’s not lose our minds over ‘cancer’.”
I remember Sanchit, my husband, he gave me the best advice that I give to anyone and everyone I meet who is suffering from this disease. He said, ‘Let’s treat it like a fever and we’ll go through it.’
The family took his words on board and through both battles tried to stay cheerful and matter of fact. “This was the atmosphere given to me from the very first time and that’s when I realised that it’s okay, it’s not such a big deal and once that came to my mind, everything became that much easier. So my positivity comes from my family and my friends who did not let me have a dull day … unless I wanted to,” she laughs.
She adds: “I interact with a lot of patients because my doctors ask them to speak to me. Before speaking to the patient, I like to speak to the family who is going to be around the patient. Because what they do, how they are going to perceive the situation, judge the person going through it, that matters the most – because you at that time are so vulnerable as a patient that anything and everything that someone says to you really plays on your mind.”
Today, Mittal’s focus is her son. “For me ‘cherishing every day with your child’ holds a lot more importance because I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me, literally. I didn’t go back to work. I have spent whatever time I could with my son, because I wanted to, because I felt somehow that I lost on that time with him. When I should have been there with him, I was passed out half the time. Thankfully my parents and in-laws took turns and came over and they took care of him. And I had a helper. But what a mother can do for a child I don’t think anyone else can. So I did make up for that – I am still making up for it. I treasure it a lot more now, motherhood.
“And of course [I focus on his] eating habits, so [I’m] being more mindful about what he’s eating. I’m not super strict, because he’s still very very young, but trying to be a role model, do the right thing. So the little bit of exercise that I do, I do at home – he follows a little bit. He knows it should be a part of routine, of life,” she says.
The journey has been long and winding, but Mittal is a survivor; she’s still smiling.
Tell us about the highs and lows of your parenting journey; write to us at parenting@gulfnews.com
