The upside of the downside

When you've lived long enough, experience teaches you that if the downside comes, the upside can be far behind.

You saw it long ago when that little child in your classroom full of bawling toddlers clung like a limpet to her mother. You and the mother despaired, but years later, that refusal to let go could manifest itself as doggedness and keep the young woman's sights set as she climbs towards her goal.

The same for that horribly persistent child who lent you his pencil and checked every few minutes that it was safe until it returned to his box - he could be the careful one with the attention to detail, the meticulous adult who doesn't leave the nitty gritty for someone else to make sure of, and so finds himself an indispensable part of a working team.

And that plodder who needed time to understand what was going on in class, one day grasped it all and went on to the grind of research and development, and today you find him mentioned in the annals of scientific journals.

The other bright sparks in the class, to whom learning came easy, were probably satisfied to see the high marks on their report cards and never bothered to go deeper into any subject to enable them to develop a real love for it. They skimmed the surface - and they still do, though, no doubt, skimming it well.

The not-to-be-named person in your own household, who was niggardly with praise and chewed 32 times on his mashed potato and steak alike, without a change in his expression to give an inkling of whether he appreciated the effort you put into the meal, proved in the fullness of time that (to your relief) he didn't praise, but didn't criticise either - and that led you to experiment with creativity away from the kitchen stove.

Weren't you convinced that the child who couldn't make his pocket money last the week, and stared up at you wistfully with the unsaid plea of "more" in his eyes, that he'd never learn to handle money, and that you'd have to finance his extravagant ways for the rest of his life? And weren't you left speechless when one day the homilies struck home and he stretched his first modest pay cheque to include everyone near and dear to him in an extravagantly loving gesture?

Or maybe he was the "unlucky" one who was launched into a practically nonexistent job market and had to grab the fistful he could get instead of the bushel he had anticipated. What better teacher is there than austerity? A little tightening of the belt taught generations past to hold on to what they had, and to build brick by brick instead of expecting the world on a platter with a wave of a magic wand. This too shall pass and the lessons learnt could not have been taught in a classroom or at home around a laden dinner table.

Then there's your friend who stopped coming over to see you once she found that despite your fancy management degree, you couldn't get to move in high-powered, moneyed circles - wouldn't it have been more hurtful to build a relationship over several more years and then discover that she just wanted to be around you because of what she thought your prospects were?

Or that talkative companion who doesn't say anything worth remembering while she burns your ears off in hour-long conversations - don't discount the laugh value; at least you still have someone to talk to! Someday in the course of these inane ramblings some pearls of wisdom may actually be dropped into your ears.

The proverbial silver lining just needs to be sought and it's often the downside that teaches you to look for it.

Cheryl Rao is a journalist based in India.