Mourning the death of loved ones over Zoom calls

Whether you are a start-up, SME or a gigantic MNC, it is the need of the hour to update your company’s bereavement-leave policy, at the earliest.

In the first few months of lockdown last year (2020), corporate mental health associations saw a 40% increase in queries from companies seeking advice and guidance on how to support their teams with Covid-grief and loss during the pandemic.

One in ten employees are affected by bereavement and it has been identified as a major life event that can cause or aggravate mental health conditions.

The proximity has gotten closer. Almost everyone that we know are losing their loved ones. In a trice, the horror of reading about deaths of strangers on the news has now transferred into our own social circles. At least one of our close friends, acquaintances or relatives have lost their lives to Covid-19, especially in India.

Let us face it: Most companies are not prepared to handle this kind of grief and to be fair, no one really is. Nonetheless, albeit the dilemma, it is for the well-being of the organisation to have an updated bereavement-leave policy readily available to avoid panic, insensitivity, and the urge to continue “business as usual.”

“I feel lost, shocked and purposeless. How will I get back to work? I don’t know how to deal with this.”

Grief comes in stages. In no particular order, it mostly begins with denial, where one is in a state of absolute disbelief — “This cannot happen to me!” Extreme rage and anger eventually tag along — “How could this happen to me!” Followed by depression, wherein thought processes meander around “Why did this happen to me?” There is a complex aspect of bargaining that happens in their mind — “Why couldn’t this have happened to me instead? Why did they have to suffer so much?” Ultimately circling back to the bitter truth — that of acceptance: “I have lost a loved one.”

As humans, we deal with loss in unique ways. For some, getting back to work is a distraction that is more than welcome, while for others — it may take weeks or even months to get back to business. Swinging back to the employers and managers of today — the most respectable and humane way to deal with such a situation is to have a standardised bereavement policy for all.

Then again, how does an organisation categorise this policy to suit everyone’s needs?

Here are some questions to consider: How can an employee notify the company of a need for leave? Are certain number of paid leaves guaranteed after a bereavement notice or will additional leaves be granted upon sensitive addressal with the employee? How is paid leave administered?

Before the pandemic, several companies followed policies where leaves pertaining to mourning were up to 2 weeks. During this period, the employee could make funeral arrangements, attend a funeral, or grieve a family member (these leaves were to be completed 60 days after the employee learns the death of the loved one).

Today, we are mourning the death of loved ones over Zoom calls, grieving across laptop screens — further leading to increased anxiety, burnout, and a ubiquitous lack of productivity. Amid this phase of loss, the compassion that is brought about with physical touch is missing, creating a deepened sense of grief.

A policy that is readily referable is an altruistic way for the management to extend consistent support to their staff. It palliates logistical support for the organisation and builds a sense of trust, especially for grieving employees.

In turn, such policies improve workforce morale because employees are more likely to remain loyal to a company that maintains empathetic working relationships with those affected. Undoubtedly, returning to a supportive working environment following loss of a loved one is a significant aspect of an employee’s adjustment to their loss.

So, if you are a manager in the making, know a friend who works in the field of human resources or if you have a colleague who has recently lost a loved one to COVID-19, be sure to check with your team leader or the management regarding an updated bereavement-leave policy. After all, if we do not have each other’s backs, who will?

Hansika Korivi works in Corporate Communications in Dubai