Take Ten: 10 ways to ruin a joke

Laugh long before the punchline is delivered.
Don’t stop with just the laugh:  slap your thigh and pretend you have tears rolling down your cheeks, too.

Start describing how you applied your make-up while the joke is being told.
Interrupt the narrator by telling him/ her that “this new lip gloss really does taste like apple”.

Play video games on your mobile phone.
Better still, change its ringtone, testing each one several times.

Yawn.
There are few better ways to kill a joke. If it fails to catch the narrator’s eye, raise your hands above your head and stretch your body and make awful sounds.

Yell, “Fire!”
This will also give you a chance to run out of the room.

Ask, “How much longer is this going to take?”
The premier dampener question.

Practise your bird calls
If somebody asks what you are doing, tell them you’re practising the call of the Amazonian phantom bird.

Keep guessing the punchline.
And if you are really trying hard, the punchline you suggest might end up being funnier than what the narrator had to say in the first place.

Say: “Is that it?”
Pop the one-liner that’s sure to burst the bubble.

Start humming a pop number.
There are some catchy songs which, heard once, refuse to leave your mind for hours. But choose songs with care: steer clear of Hit me baby one more time, or the narrator might take his cue to hit you!.