10 Gifts I don't want for my birthday

We all have our personal lists – of the zaniest/quirkiest/funniest/ craziest/smartest ... We devote this page to them.

This week, Kristyna Hradilova is the restaurant manager at Steam Sum Dim Sum, Dubai, lists ...

Waiters singing in a restaurant: Working in a restaurant myself I've seen it many times – the horror and embarrassment of the birthday person as well as the staff. There is nothing worse than watching waiters try very hard to put on a show for the birthday boy/girl. They are servers not singers! And then there is the attention you get from fellow diners!

Oversized birthday cards: Over the age of 10, anything bigger than a standard size envelope is a no-no! It just shows lack of imagination. Also, I will never, ever, wear the "Birthday girl" badge.

Flowers from a petrol station: Okay, so you forgot it's my birthday and suddenly remembered while filling up your tank on your way home and decided to grab some flowers. Do you think a bunch of wilted flowers will cover it? Forget it, just give me a hug and take me out for dinner the following day.

Diet books or DVDs: Don't give me a book with topics such as "How to Lose Five Pounds in a Week" or "Improve Your Diet". Surely I do not need to be reminded that I'm overweight on my birthday. Save it for another occasion.

A book which belonged to someone else: Nothing is more embarrassing than finding a dedication "To my dearest brother David on his birthday ..." All right, I'll only make an exception if it is Shakespeare's handwritten manuscript.

A handmade gift: It might sound cruel but I really don't want your 'masterpiece' from your amateur pottery class. You couldn't display it, so why should I? And it saves me the embarrassment of digging it out from the back of the cupboard every time you visit.

Something you actually wanted yourself: There's no point in buying me that football, those golf clubs or an annual subscription for a car magazine that you like reading.

Chinaware set and a stack of dish towels: You know all the stuff your aunt would give you with that knowing look? Thank you very much, I am not all that domestic.

Surprise birthday party: Imagine a friend going all the way and organising a lavish birthday party for you with all the friends she can think of – her friends!

Belated birthday cards: It's bad enough that you forgot my birthday and now you try to make up with "just a card"?! How clever! And for those of you who are curious or need to have a memory brush up, February 22 is my special day. All sorts of gifts are welcome – except those listed above!