Raising children alone in the UAE? How these inspiring mums built a life of strength, support and success

What do you do when your world collapses?

You don’t rebuild immediately; you gather bits and pieces of hope strewn around, along with shreds of confidence and memories that remind you of who you were.  It’s the personal philosophy Dubai-based Mahima Sen, a school teacher follows. After her life underwent a drastic transformation within a week, she shifted from Abu Dhabi to Dubai with her two children, aged four and three. “The move was hard for them, but we got through, as I had so much support from my friends and family. It made me feel as if I could go on,” she explains.

As Scott Fitzgerald famously said, life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall. And it did, for Sen. “I am a single mother, and I have never bothered about that term. It’s something my children use now in normal conversation, if asked. We’re happy now; they’re budding teenagers, busy with school and university,” says Sen, adding that she doesn’t look at her story as some form of deep strife, tragedy and finally peace. “I don’t deny that we had bad times, but it didn’t become my identity. It’s part of the journey.”

She sketches her weekly routine: Go to work, spend time with children, maybe visit friends in the evening, if not, have fun dinners and lunches over the weekend. Sometimes, other single mothers join them. The meetings are filled with laughs, perhaps tears, and a lot of good food. Echoing the sentiment they all share, the city, the community helps them and their children to live freely, safely, with shades of both sorrow and joy.

There are stories, within stories. Single parenting is by no means an easy task, but the women find, or rather carve their own way through emotional minefields, with their children beside them. A lot of it is due to the people that they find. Maybe, some of it is also owing to the security Dubai offers. And perhaps a lot, is due to their own willingness and determination to find their own definitions of strength and resilience.

Building a new life

Changes can be jarring. New places, new people, and new routines. The old and comfortable is ripped away suddenly, and you need to make the present world feel like home again, for both you and your child.

It’s a dilemma that Iqra Raghib, a Dubai-based business manager faced after moving to the city from Pakistan with her son. There were many details to plan out, including looking for a school for her son, who longed for his earlier home, school friends. “It was difficult for him to accept Dubai as his home,” recalls Raghib. "He wanted to return to Pakistan and I had to keep telling him, that Dubai, is our home, now," she says.

But how does a house in a different country become a home? How do you find the people who can make it so? As Raghib discovered, through playdates, casual conversations, one friendship leading to another, and slowly, you have a community. Perhaps, Dubai just made that transition easier, too.

"The good thing about Dubai is that everyone is here with an expat mindset,” she says. Everyone you meet, could just be trying to find their way. “So you learn that you’re not the only one going through something,” she says. The loneliness began to recede slowly, and she developed rich friendships that gradually spread to beach visits, winter fests and top golf. She found many people were just like her, dealing with life as a single mum in Dubai. The joy of community, and people around eased her son into this new and alien life too. The unfamiliar routines, surroundings became less alien and seemed a lot more welcoming.

And so, finally, a year later, her son accepted Dubai, as home.

The balancing act

Similarly, Abu Dhabi-based Mindy Jarvis, a media professional, looked for different ways to ease her child into a rather alien life. After a particularly painful divorce and shifting from Delhi to Abu Dhabi, she wondered how to navigate two different emotional minefields: Her own, as well as her son's.  “My child was eight, at that time. It was a real upheaval, and with such a young child, you really struggle to navigate difficult waters, without projecting your own sadness on to them. And that’s where I’m grateful for the friends that I made. Some single mothers, some couples. Everyone was so warm and welcoming to both me and my son, easing him into this difficult process. He knew exactly what was happening, but he was also aware that he wasn’t alone,” she says.

Warm smiles, cheer, the promise of friendships are what slowly build a home, and maybe, just maybe, piece a person together.

Boat rides, golf, Diwali parties and picnics: Finding family in different corners of Dubai

Dubai-based Pearl Chesson didn’t go ‘looking’ for single mother communities after her separation in 2010.  She just found a community of different women, with different stories. In other words, she found friends, who became like family. In a world that you’re rebuilding after a rather drastic life transformation, which is never straightforward and involves legal complications entangled with emotional distress, a community provides reassurance. You aren’t alone, and you know you’ll get by.

Chesson explains, "I'm the only one with children in my circle. And this doesn’t ever change the plans," she says. Her children join her for most activities such as boat rides, treks, camping, hiking, Diwali plans and more.

There’s a sense of freedom, here. Her children don't shy away from her ‘being a single mom’, it is what it is, without any stigma, as Chesson explains.

‘People don’t point fingers here’

For Umaima Tinwala, a communications and marketing consultant who moved to Dubai in 2002, this openness was a relief. When she separated from her husband, she worried about raising her five-year-old daughter alone. The logistics of single motherhood—finding childcare, juggling work, handling expenses—felt overwhelming.

Tinwala recalls one incident, when she was still far from home, and her daughter didn’t answer the phone. Panicking, Tinwala relied on neighbours to go and check on her. “My daughter was just sleeping,” she explains. Yet this episode helped in furthering one realisation: “There were always helpful people around,” she says.

Dubai felt ideal, adds Tinwala, in terms of community. There was no fear of people pointing fingers at her or her daughter. There was no social stigma, she says. It was easier for her and her daughter. It’s a relief of sorts, when you’re handling complicated expenses, says Tinwala. “There’s always the problem of maintenance, which could be exorbitant fees, along with dealing with legal battles.”   So, these little gestures, words, and any sort of help, just contribute to a feeling of knowing you and your daughter are safe.

It’s a calming breeze in the middle of a storm.

Finding a sense of purpose together

Yet, how do you become a support for others when you’re stewing in your own emotional turmoil? Somehow…you just do.

And that’s what happened for Dubai-based Julie Cobalt, a mother of four daughters. In particularly painful circumstances, she decided to ask on social media if anyone would like joining a support group at home. A meetup group began as the responses were overwhelming and she discovered that she had wound up giving the support.

And she learned the different understandings of ‘single’ mothers: Some widowed, some estranged from their husbands while living under the same roof, others dealing with the traumatic legal battles of divorce. “It gave me a sense of purpose,” she says. The meetup events encompass a variety of topics for mothers trying to wade through messy divorces, the hurt of letting go, parenting and methods of co-regulation. “There are so many people with different questions, legal and emotional, and that’s some of the things the group meetings address,” says Cobalt.

The psychological safety of the UAE

And the UAE has a lot to do with making you feel secure,  comfortable and less hindered by being a single mum, say the mothers. “It’s just such a safe city,” vouches Raghib. “It gives you a real peace of mind, in terms of communities and school, and a school bus service. I wasn’t panicking when I was at work; I just knew my son would be safe at home,” she says. Chesson adds that Dubai isn’t just family-friendly—it’s a place where single mothers know that both of them, will be just fine.