‘I’m 20, but look like a five-year-old’

Laxmi Yadav tucks into a breakfast of parantha and yogurt before combing her waist-length hair, grabbing her bag and rushing out the door to work as a sales assistant in a local clothes store. To a few people, she is a regular 20-year-old career woman. But to many, she looks like a five-year-old hurrying for a first day at school. Standing just one metre tall (3ft 3in), Laxmi is in fact serving a life sentence – a woman forever trapped in a child’s tiny body.

She has watched all her friends become wives and mothers but aspects of her life have stopped, frozen at the age of five. “I’ve watched all my friends grow, while I’ve been left behind in many ways,’’ says Laxmi. “My good friends have always tried to include me in everything, like taking me along for movies or for a lunch out, but there are moments when I feel very lonely because nobody understands what it is like to be trapped in a child’s body.’’

“Once, a child from our community was abducted and taken away in a van. I’ve been terrified ever since and with such incidents becoming common in India, if I see a van lurking around I run home in fear.’’

Sadly Laxmi is not the only one in her family who suffers from the condition. Her elder brother Azad Yadav, 22, stopped growing at the age of six. Today he is just 91cm (3ft) tall.

“We pooled all our savings to admit him to a local city hospital where doctors conducted tests and gave him some medication, but nothing helped,’’ says Bahadur.

“There are multiple reasons for a hormone condition such as Laxmi’s,” says Dr Ritesh Gupta, an endocrinologist and assistant director at Fortis Hospital, in New Delhi. “It could be due to a malfunctioning pituitary gland or defective gonads [reproductive organs]. Both these glands are important in the growth and development of the body as well as sexual organs.

“Available treatments are more effective when started at an early stage. Laxmi will remain as she is unless there is a proper investigation done on her and she’s treated accordingly. There’s no threat of an early death because of the hormone disorder but in some cases if there are other issues involved, the condition could turn fatal.’’

For instance if a tumour develops in the pituitary gland, it can cause high blood pressure and other health problems that could end up being fatal if not treated promptly.

Fortunately Laxmi has not had any major life-threatening conditions. She thrived in school and went to the same high school as Azad and their younger sister, Suman, 15, who is of normal height at 140cm (4ft 6in).

“I was lucky to have wonderful school friends who never bullied me and often protected me,” says Laxmi. “But when I stepped away from my family or circle of friends people were always nasty. I hate being with strangers as it hurts when they stare at me. I’ve now learnt to ignore them. Sometimes it gets to a point where I am forced to become rude and tell them what I think. I realised that unless I try to stand up for myself, people could make my life miserable.”

For many years Laxmi’s mother, Parvati, has bought all of Laxmi’s clothes, often bringing home a bagful for her to choose from. But slowly Laxmi is starting to enjoy the world of fashion. “I go with my sister for an occasional shopping trip,’’ she says.

Homemaker Parvati, 52, says, “Laxmi doesn’t want to ever marry and refuses to consider meeting potential suitors. It’s her decision so there is nothing I can do about it. She’s very strong minded and knows what she wants.’’

Laxmi completed her school studies earlier this year with top marks and wants to graduate in computer sciences.

But unwilling to while away her holidays, she helped out in a women’s clothes store in a shopping mall near her home as a sales assistant earning Rs5,000 a month.

The two people she confides in about everything are her mother and Suman. “I don’t know how I would live without them. I tell them all my problems, concerns, joys and worries. When I’m sad they help motivate me. My mother is very supportive.”

Parvati still finds it hard to come to terms with her daughter’s condition. “It was hard finding out our son would never grow up and become a man,” she says. “Even as we were just coming to terms with that we learnt that our second child, our Laxmi, had the same condition. We were devastated. We had no idea how to react, we were just numb.

“We’ve grown up believing doctors can help people but when we were told that nothing could be done with our son, we were quite literally speechless. We’ve all been living this life sentence really. While Laxmi and my son have grown mentally, they still look like children. It’s a very hard concept to digest.’’

‘I love having a purpose’

While Laxmi struggles to accept her condition and harbours dreams of living like any of her friends, she does not want to plunge into matrimony without giving it serious thought. “I’m frightened of putting my future into the hands of a person who could be a bad man. I am scared somebody could ill-treat me and then abandon me when he wishes. Also, I can’t have kids anyway. So I keep wondering what’s the point of getting married?”

She drops her head and looks down. Then, a moment later, her face breaks out into a smile when she spots Suman return home from school. “I like being in her company. She is my best friend,’’ says Laxmi.

Unlike most 20-year-olds, Laxmi does not go out often. “I prefer playing games on my laptop or mobile phone and watch television soaps or films at home,’’ she says.

She is also starting to enjoy clothes shopping, which is good as her part-time job means she has to help other shoppers. “I want to be a financial support to my family,” she says. “I was scared when I was first offered the job but I’m tough and I’ve overcome my fears to do this.”

“We must help everyone where we can. And anyone with a disability should be helped to feel as normal as possible. Laxmi and I have become good friends.”